A Different Way of Fitting In

Last week I was picking up my daughter from dance and noticed the girls with their phones and mine with her basic LG phone. I thought to myself how sad my daughter still uses one of those. I wonder what the girls think of her with her slide out camera? I hope they don't look down on her. I hope they don't make fun of her. Then I caught myself, probably for the 100th time! Caring too much about what others think of my daughter. Wanting to make sure she fits in. Why do I do this? Why do I concern myself so much with her status? I teach her that it's all about the heart, but then I have to go buy her the latest trends so she won't feel like an outcast?? I teach her that we have certain rules and standards but she still doesn't understand why she can't be a part of social media. It's so easy to get caught up in all of this. It's easy to let this world determine how we should raise our kids. At what cost though? What price are we willing to pay so our kids fit in?

I've been blessed with friends in my life who have already walked in the shoes I am in. They've gone through it already. So when they speak into my life and encourage/admonish me in certain things, I'm going to listen! I love the wisdom they are willing to share with me, especially when it comes to girls. One prevalent piece of advice is to stand firm. Whatever standards or rules my husband and I decide on, do not sway from them! If we decide certain clothes aren't appropriate, stand firm! If we decide our daughter isn't ready for an Instagram, stand firm! If we decide our daughter can't be responsible for a $300 phone, stand firm! Every family is different. Every child is different. As our children grow and mature, more privileges will most certainly be given. There is a time though. Words of my friend "don't rush into it". Words of another friend "We still have control!! We still make the rules!".

This is my piece of advice. From one friend to another. From one mom who has failed in this area more than once.  How about we just change our perspective. How about we stop focusing on what we don't have and expose our kids to children who really don't have anything? Children who are suffering from diseases. While our children are having a little pity party, people are being executed in other countries. Perspective. What about we focus on giving to others in need instead of always wanting to receive. Last year I encouraged my daughter to do this and she decided to have a bake sale with her friends and raise money for a food bank. I hope she will do this every year! When we are so busy serving others and giving to others, we don't have time to waste complaining about what we don't have. We definitely don't have time to be concerned about our children fitting in. If our kids our busy giving of themselves to others, that is the perfect place for them to fit in.
To God Be a The Glory!!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3, 4