Starting Over

About twelve years ago I had the privilege to be a part of two different women groups. Not at the same time but within a couple years of each other I believe. One of them was led by an awesome older wiser woman of God and the other was with some friends who all just had a desperate need to get closer to Jesus. One of them around a dining room table and the other at a coffee shop. From what I remember, the wise woman had one agenda for us younger moms/wives. She encouraged us in our role as wives. She stressed the importance of putting our husbands first. Being their cheerleader. Making them happy to come home. She also strongly encouraged us to bring an atmosphere of intimacy in our marriage. Being best friends, affirming one another, being affectionate and so on. She had us all blushing and laughing a lot. My other group decided to read "A Woman After God's Own Heart" together. This is a book that instilled a heart to serve within my home. Pursuing God and His priorities in my life. My husband should come first. Serving him, following him, and loving him as
to the Lord. " And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17 NIV)

Both of these groups impacted my life tremendously and helped me in my role as a young wife and mother. At the time I had a 4 year old and a baby. Those years can very easily affect a marriage and I thank God for the wisdom I received at the time to have my priorities in order. I definitely wasn't the perfect wife, but I had more of an attitude of serving, and trying to be the wife God called me to be. Even if I failed at times, my heart was in the right place.

Why do I bring this up today? The last few weeks have been crazy! Spring football is in full swing, school projects, dance competitions, then the regular day to day chores, plus piles of office work that never seems to go down! It seems at times that I'm treading water, doing my best not to sink! I am finding myself giving all I have to my kids. Putting my role as mother before anything else. Finding ways to be a better mom, going out of my way for my babies, even dating my kids! Yes, I am being very intentional with them. This is a good thing, but in my pursuit to be the best mom I can be, am I neglecting the man who holds my heart? Am I neglecting the man that God called me to serve and help? Yes, I am guilty. I share this because I know this is a trap that many moms fall in. We mean well, but take for granted the friendship that we have with our husbands. It's normal. After all, adding a new baby to our family after 11 years is a legitimate reason for any mom to loose sight of her priorities!:) The important part is that God gently reminded me of who comes first and He will take care of the rest. Today is a new day and I think it's time to ask myself how I can help my husband. How I can can make his day extra special. How I can respond to his needs in a positive way. How I can specifically pray for him. How I can love him unconditionally. Taking on each day with this mindset and the attitude to serve in my heart will only lead to a more loving, flourishing marriage!
 To God Be the Glory!

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18 NIV)
My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. (Song of Solomon 2:16 NIV)
I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:10 NIV)

Because She Loved Me

I was in a rush. No different then any other day. I told her I couldn't stay and I needed to go. I got a glimpse of her waving at us from her living room. It was then that I stopped and savored her expression. It was the face of a mom. My mom. Wishing we didn't have to go, yet excited and happy for what was coming next for us. That heartfelt moment brought me to tears. As I drove away I knew I needed to share a little of my heart as a daughter. Today it's about the lady I am honored to call my mom.

There is a lot I can say about my mom. I can tell you about all the ways she has helped my family in the last year. I can tell you about her heart that loves to give and give and give. I can tell you about the great love she has for her grandchildren. I can tell you about the ways she likes to encourage and support her family. I can tell you about her deep love for Jesus and I can tell you of all she has sacrificed so her family could be better off. Instead I'd like to go back. To the core. To the mom I grew up with. The mom who always loved me unconditionally.

Looking back I cannot think of a time that I didn't feel loved by my mom. I can't even think of a time that she criticized the way I dressed or did my hair. She never kept track of what I ate. I never felt like I had to succeed in order to receive her love. It was always there. Yes, she had grumpy days, like us all, and maybe her patience got the best of her, but never did I feel as though her love changed toward me. I don't think I ever realized how significant that was until now.  The ability to love with no conditions. She loved me no matter what. Then adulthood came, marriage, and family. Still that love remains. She may not agree on everything, but still loves with all that she is. To me, this is the greatest gift she has given me.

As I see my mom getting older I am reminded of how precious our time is together. I am also reminded that this is the time to give back. Not monetarily, although I'm sure she wouldn't resist. It's time to give back with what matters most to her. MY TIME. You see, my mom's greatest joy is her family. Anytime she has opportunity to have quality time with any of us, she will run to it! Even better, anytime she can get the whole entire family together, joy joy joy!! Beyond ecstatic! :)

Mother's Day is a day to celebrate and honor our mothers and grandmothers. I don't want to stop there though. Lord, please remind me throughout the year to give her what matters most. It costs nothing, yet means everything. Time. To God be the Glory!

Step Back Momma Bear

In the last couple of weeks there have circumstances in my life when "momma bear" wanted to come out. In the past I have always justified the momma bear within. Anytime any of my kids were treated incorrectly, rejected, or wrong was done against them, I let that momma bear come out and most of the time my kids witnessed this. I'd tell myself, it's all out of love!! No one messes with my cubs!! Well, God showed me something different this time. 

As moms, we never want to see our babies hurt, rejected, or mistreated. We don't want them to go through difficult situations we may have faced growing up. We don't want them to experience pain or disappointment. They hurt. We hurt a hundred times worse. We carry the heaviness, the aching, like it's our own. I've talked about control before, but this is another example of what can cause us moms to be over controlling. If we keep them in our little controlled bubble of life, they won't experience any of these things. Or if they do, we are ready to attack those on the outside. The problem with this thinking is that when it all comes down to it, we cannot control everything that happens to our babies. 

As long as our kids are living and breathing there WILL be some kind of hurt in their lives. I know this is hard to hear, especially for those with little ones. It's very true though. The question I had to ask myself this time around is what am I teaching my kids by roaring like a bear, ready to give the accused a piece of my mind.  Or even better, wanting to take my child out of the environment that is causing their pain. What is this teaching them? Could my attitude reflect the ongoing problem of entitlement in our kids today? How can our kids develop character, integrity, humility, perseverance, courage, and learn to trust God in their own lives and the lives of others when they see momma bear roaring with anger, being quick to rescue them every time? Does it make sense to teach them to be strong and courageous, then take them out of the very situation that builds this type of character within them? How can I teach them to rejoice in trials when I try to be the savior instead of letting God be their savior? How can I teach them to trust that God will uphold them when I try to fix everything? Yes, we all want our kids to get that part in the play, or earn that position on the team, be liked by their teachers, coaches and those in authority. So when they don't get that part, or they are sitting on the sideline, or they aren't the apple of their teacher's eye. How can we better respond to these situations? How can we respond like Christ?

I'm learning it all comes down to having faith in God's sovereignty in their lives. Yes, if wrong was done we can point it out, but instead of teaching anger and bitterness, we can teach grace and forgiveness. Even compassion. Jesus is the ultimate example. He endured it all and still responded with the biggest act of love ever known to man. Now most everything I am referring to is in response to my older kids. I know with littler ones it is different. I'm in a stage of my life though where my 2 older kids will be grown adults in this world before I know it and I want to do my best to raise them to reflect Christ in all they do.  I want them to stand strong.  They need to know how to handle the difficult situations.  They need to be able to grow from them.  I want Christ to be able to work in their lives. In their hearts.  

Thank you Jesus for this huge lesson in my life. I pray that I will remember this in days to come. So, I'm telling myself. Take a step back momma bear. Be still. Pray like crazy. Seek God for wisdom in the situation and trust in his faithfulness. Yes, there will be times we will need to speak on their behalf and be their advocate, but how much better it will be if we gain the Father's wisdom and go together in prayer about it first. To God Be the Glory!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:2-5 NIV)