This year I have sort of been avoiding my New Years "reflection time". I haven't wanted to put expectations on myself. Knowing where that all leads. Knowing my circumstances. Goals for a whole year? Really? I can't even see what tomorrow will bring. Last year I worked a lot on "letting go". I really had no choice. When a baby enters your life and you are used to everything being a certain way, you can either get really frustrated or Let.It.Go.. I found peace in letting go of what I couldn't control and trusting God to carry my family and myself through it all. Looking back, it kind of all seems like a big blur. There were waves of darkness and hopelessness, and then there were waves of pure joy and celebration. I've told people that this past year was the hardest year of my life. They usually look at me strange. Juggling my new party of five was like nothing I've ever experienced. My need for Christ was greater than ever. The beautiful thing is that God took me just as I was and stretched me and carried me and sustained me. I made it! Not on my own. Not by myself. Not because of me. In Christ alone. I let go of me and held onto HIM. I am excited about what is to come! I actually didn't plan on writing this, but maybe someone out there needs HOPE.
Now how am I going to start this new year? I don't want to dwell on how hard last year was, but I do want to learn from it! I want to move. I want to move forward with purpose and hope. No unrealistic expectations, but small daily goals. I like to think of it more as my "new day" goals and prayers. Because of God's grace we do have "new days" every single time the sun rises. It's a new day. A new opportunity to change, try harder, and do a little bit better. A lot of people have their "word " for the new year. I just can't seem to think of one word though. These are words that have already been at work in my heart and I need their reminder daily. One day at a time, staying close to my Savior, I am looking forward to what 2015 will bring!
FREE: I want to live in freedom. Free from people pleasing, comparison, criticism, a hardened heart, my fears, and perfectionism. I want to be free to love and give and receive all that God has for me. TIME: I want to give more of my time. To God, my family, and to people I don't even know. Looking up and around me for ways that I can be the hands and feet of Jesus. My grandma recently told my daughter that more than anything she appreciates the time that she spends with her. DREAM: I want to dream again! I get so caught up in the day to day routine that I forget what it's like to dream! Being content with where God has me, yet kindling the desires in my heart that I forgot I had! If I'm telling my daughter to dream big, then I need to do the same! I still have a lot of living to do! PURPOSE: I need this reminder more than anything! There is a purpose in all that do! God has a purpose and a plan. Even in the stuff that seems meaningless and unimportant. When I go about my day knowing I have purpose, there is hope and joy and strength!
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (Isaiah 46:4 NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:37 NIV) If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:9-12 NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)
