I can't believe summer is quickly coming to an end! To be honest, this summer has been hard. Between a baby waking up super early and keeping me on my toes all day, to raising a football player, and last but not least, making sure that middle child isn't lost in all of the mix! I don't think a day goes by when I am not completely exhausted. Physically, mentally, and a times, even emotionally. I ask God frequently why I have such an active baby!!?? I cry at times not knowing if I can juggle all 3 kids. This is the real stuff. Having 3 kids in 3 different stages of life is exhausting!! This is what I have been given though. God sees me. He knows me. He hears me!!! Thank goodness!:) I know God's plans are bigger and I know His strength is made perfect in my weakness. In my daily mess, literally and figuratively, I have to find Jesus! I can't do it by myself. When I seek him, I find him. That is how I get through each day! He is teaching me through it all. I just have to pause and listen and be willing to let him work through me and change me. A whole lot of changing going on! Having a supportive husband is huge in all of this and I am so glad we are in this thing together.
It's amazing how God can use my little 7 month old to teach me lessons about my 16 year old and my 12 year old. You see, baby is completely and totally out of the mold!! So much, that it gets frustrating at times! He is completely different than big brother and big sister. The methods I used when they were babies don't work at all with him, which leaves me lost and puzzled. I'm forced to completely trust God's hand in his little life. Knowing God made him like this for a reason. Perfection is far from expected from this little guy, which causes me to look at my heart and see how I still struggle in this area with my older kids. I've admitted it before, but starting with the oldest, I have held my kids to the standard of perfection. Not intentionally, but through my reactions, attitudes, and micro managing all these years. Thinking if I can just control it all and follow step ABC, then my kids will turn out great! I remember the first time one of my kids didn't make honor roll. I was devastated!! I didn't let them know, but just that attitude of my heart was so wrong!!! My perspective was totally off. Honestly, I think I was more embarrassed of what other moms thought of me, and how I was reflected, but that's a topic for another day. Anyways, Thank God my eyes have been opened. Don't get me wrong, good grades are always the goal, but falling short is not detrimental .
I read this the other day. "Children can't grow without taking risks. Toddlers can't walk completely without falling down. Students can't learn without facing hardships. And ultimately, an adolescent can't enter young adulthood until we release them from our protective custody"( Dr. James Dobson). I feel like I can relate to all three of these scenarios with each of the kids. Guess what baby is teaching me lately? I can't control it all. There is No Perfect Plan!!! As much as I'd like to believe steps ABC will lead to success, that is so far from the truth. That is depending on my own abilities. Truth is, all of our kids will fall or fail. We need to "let them fail" as one of my good friends says. As much as I'd like to believe differently, it is the truth. It may be minor or it may be major. It may be frequent or just once. I may witness it, or I may be completely unaware. The more important thing is what kind of mom am I when my child falls? What kind of parents are we when we see our kids fail? Are we still loving them unconditionally? Are we focusing on the heart of our child? Are we helping them to grow and learn from their actions? Are we giving God's grace? Believe me, I am speaking loudly to myself! I need this! I'm learning more and more that sometimes the actions of our children have absolutely nothing to do with what we do or don't do as parents. Sometimes it's just life hitting them. Does this mean we stop being supportive, having high expectations, and training them up as God commands? Of course not! By no means do I want to convey that. It's just reality, because our kids are human just like you and me. Having this awareness while raising these precious gifts makes life a little less complicated.
I remember in Jr. High I struggled with an eating disorder. Was it because my parents told me I needed to lose weight? Was it because they didn't love me? Actually quite the opposite! They loved me unconditionally and they always spoke more than highly about me. My eating disorder had nothing to do with them. It was just the pressures of being in Jr. High. Knowing I wasn't one of the popular attractive girls and desperately wanting to fit in at age 13. My parents were clueless until one of my friends shared my hardship with them. Do you think at that time they were trying to figure out what they'd done wrong? Maybe even a bit embarrassed? I can't remember details, but I do remember that they intervened immediately and sought wisdom, understanding and help. They loved me through it and praise God I was able to overcome. That's just one of many examples, but it proves what I'm trying to say. More so to myself than anybody!!!
With school starting in less than a week, I find it hard to believe that I have a junior in high school and a seventh grader in Jr. high. Do I have expectations for them? Oh yes! Do I worry about how they will handle their own hardships? Definitely! Do I want to walk the halls with them and save them from falling? Yes! Yes! Yes! The good news is someone far greater than me can do just that. Jesus is before them, beside them, and behind them. He is with them every step of the way! The one thing I CAN do for my kids as they roam those halls is pray for them! Prayer does change things and prayers on behalf of our children can make a huge difference on what happens in their day! Knowing Jesus is right there to carry them, no matter what happens, good or bad, is just what this momma needs. While I stay home and nurture their baby brother, I can have peace in my heart and focus on teaching him all I know of God's glory and faithfulness. At the same time, The Lord will continue to use him to teach me. So, Expectations, yes. Perfection, no. To God Be the Glory!
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. (Psalm 139:1-5 NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)
