I've had my ups and downs this year as a mother of three in three different seasons of life. I am thankful for time with each of my children. I treasure heart to heart conversations and when our party of five is all together, my heart is very full!! With that being said, there have also been lots of tears this year, because the love I have for them just weighs so heavy on my heart at times and tears seem to be my form of therapy. They release what I want to hold onto. What I want to control. They usually accompany my hands being thrown up in the air and confessing my inadequacy in this role of....Motherhood. If only I could control their every action, thoughts, and choices. Then they would turn out the way I had imagined them to, or expected them to, not at all taking into consideration God's Plan for their life. Here's the thing that God has been showing me. That little thing called "control", its NOT what God has called me to do. My children are human, just like you and me and guess what?? They aren't going to live a perfect life. They will make mistakes and learn from them. They will learn though. They will grow and flourish into what God wants them to be! Not what I want them to be! This is what God has been pressing on this momma's heart.........LOVE.......just LOVE them!!! Give them to the ONE who IS in control and stop expecting perfectionism and LOVE!! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
You may be thinking that this is a no brainer. Of course we love our children! In fact I've heard it said that nothing compares to the love a mother has for her child. Why am I even bringing this up? For me! I need this reminder of what love is, what love looks like, and honestly what love isn't.
1 Corinthians 13:4,5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I just want to focus on these two verses. I think there is enough here to convict me of not always loving. Where is my patience when they forget things? Where is my kindness when they are just being themselves? Maybe envy and boasting isn't a big problem, but PROUD or PRIDE. Having to be right? My way is the only way? One of many things I've learned from my mom is humility. She would admit it if she was wrong and apologize. Saying sorry to our children is not a sign of weakness. It's showing them that we are human and we need God in the same way they do. Ok, next one. Dishonor others. I looked this one up. Dishonor also means to discredit, shame, or humiliate. Hmmm, I think its safe to say that our pride can cause us to dishonor. Make ourselves look good. I don't want to humiliate my children. Unfortunately sometimes my words have done that. Next, self-seeking. My will instead of God's will. Easily angered?? Not me!!! Lord help us! Last but not least, who keeps record of wrongs?? I think that is enough to chew on for now. This is why I need to write these things down. I need the reminder!
I read this quote from Ann Voskamp and it really reasonated with me:
"YOU LOVE AS WELL AS YOU ARE WILLING TO BE INCONVENIENCED. It's never too late to live a remarkable life. Just start leaving marks of love now--right when its inconvenient. And then tomorrow. Not twenty years from now. Not two weeks from now. Now. Right now. Always in the inconvenient. Right now. "
Inconvenient Love. I want to love like that. With three children, its a juggling act. I help one and think I am done, then another one has a need, and so on and so on. There are times that I am just tired and it does seem like one child misses out on that inconvenient love. I try to validate my laziness by convincing myself that they will be fine, but the truth is, they need my inconvenient love more than anything! Time is crucial! Loving in our children's love language is another example of inconvenient love. Actually I should say child, because each child has a different love language(s). Maybe its Physical Affection, going out of my way to let them snuggle with me considering I'm one of those who like her space. One of my daughter's love languages is Acts of Service. She has always been my independent one, but every once in awhile she will ask me to help her out with ironing, getting her breakfast, etc. and its usually last minute and very inconvenient for me, but that's where it is....inconvenient love.
With a teen, tween, and toddler every day is an adventure. Every night is an adventure!! I never know what each day will bring. I do know this. I want my children to know that I LOVED them. Not because of what they did, or how they performed in life. Simply because of who they are. They are enough. What it all comes down to is leaving all my cares, worries, and concerns at the feet of Jesus and just LOVING! To God Be The Glory!
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on LOVE which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14
