Moving Forward with 5 Lessons

There are often times in life that we go through difficult circumstances. While we are going through it, God is right there carrying us every bit of the way. We have a choice. Do we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus? Do we go into survival mode? I think I did a little of both when I was on bed rest during my pregnancy. I learned quite a few lessons and now that I am in full swing, I wanted to write them down so I don't forget. So this is more of a reminder to myself, but if you can benefit from these lessons too then even better. To God Be The Glory!

1. Mary vs. Martha
    If you don't know the story of Mary and Martha. It is found in Luke 10:38-42. Here is a summary. Basically Martha is the stressed out lady running from one end of the house to the other micro-managing everyone and Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus. Martha complains about Mary to Jesus and Jesus tells her Mary has chosen what is better. Well when I was stuck in bed I had the opportunity to be more like Mary. Really sit and be still literally. Listening to Christ. It's what got me through each day. Now that life is back to non stop schedules, activities, and a little one completely dependent on me, I can very easily fall into the Martha category. The to-do lists never seem to get shorter. Life's demands will always be here. I don't want to do what's good. I want to do what's better. Sitting at the feet of Jesus before anything each day. That's where it's at. That's all that matters.

2. Hands and Feet of Jesus
    Thank God my situation was temporary. For so many of those around us it is not. My family was blessed by kind and loving hearts. Meals were brought over, transportation provided for my kids, laundry done, cleaning done, groceries delivered, etc. To me, this was love in action. This was the hands and feet of Jesus. I don't want to just be on the receiving end. I want to always remember this so when opportunity presents itself I will come running to those in need. People are hurting. They are in pain, some chronic, some even living their last days. No better way to share the love of Christ. Some great verses to look at are James 2:16, Matthew 25:35, and The Parable of the Good Samaritan, one of my favorites, Luke10:25-37.

3. Letting go of Perfectionism
     This is something that has always been a struggle for me, especially when I get in a certain mind set of how I believe things should be. There's me, my narrow mind and the end result pictured in my head. Well, when you are stuck in bed and have no control over anything, guess what happens? I was forced to let go. At first I got mad, frustrated and then came acceptance. I finally came to the realization that if I wanted peace in my heart I had to let go of perfectionism. Once I did that, I felt FREE. Amazing freedom! In so many areas of my life! For the first time in a long time I was able to really enjoy Christmas! I didn't have to find the perfect gift, have my house perfectly decorated or throw a perfect cookie party! It was so relaxed and the focus on Christ and my little family was all that mattered. There was no rushing through the story, only sitting and being a part of it. With all that being said, I let go because I had to. Now that things are back to normal I feel that perfectionist attitude creeping in again in several different areas. Here is one example. With Easter around the corner I started thinking of finding the perfect outfits for my family, the perfect themed Easter baskets, even trying to convince myself to make that perfect Easter cake. Now I have a choice. Do I fall into the trap and over extend myself? Or do I choose freedom? I am choosing freedom and letting go, focusing on what really matters this Easter. Instead of trying to dress my kids and give them things, I would rather spend my time and energy pointing them to the Cross. To the cup Jesus drank for us, to the blood he shed for us and to the love that was laid down for us. All that other stuff is exactly that. Stuff. Temporary, earthly. Nothing wrong with it, but for me, I get lost in it. In trying to impress, and trying to be super mom. Instead I want to be free!

4. Power in Prayer
    I know that I would not have survived those last months of pregnancy and first months of motherhood without the power of prayer. I never want to forget the importance of having family/friends who I can count on for prayer. Who I know without a shadow of a doubt will get on their knees on my behalf. That is so important! In those moments of desperation, knowing I was covered in prayer was so encouraging!

5. In Sickness and in Health
    In our 19 years of marriage, my husband and I have kind of worked like a team. He does his part, I do mine and everything seems to flow. Well when I couldn't fulfill my part, my husband had to carry a huge load. Not only was he going to work everyday, and as in work I mean business owner. Not just showing up and leaving. If he doesn't work we have no income. If he doesn't sell, there is no pay check. That is a lot all on its own. So, he was doing that like normal then he had to cover my part of the business (billing, accounts payable/receivable etc.), then he didn't just have my son to take to training anymore, he had my daughter now too. Then he had to do grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, and let's not forget taking my daughter clothes shopping! He did all of this and NEVER complained! Yes, he eventually got lots of help but I don't want to take away from what he did for so long. For months, every morning he made me breakfast and brought it to me. Now, all of this is
something I never want to forget. The way he laid down his life, his needs, and loved in action. Selfless love. Devoted love. I am so forever grateful that he is my love and I never want to take that for granted. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Before it's Too Late---This Ones For The Girls

My daughter. She is the little girl I dreamed of. She is who I wasn't . She has confidence I've only dreamed about. She is the meaning of affection. She loves to be praised in the little things. No need to chase her, she is always there. She remembers everything. She is assertive. She is very independent, but still likes my approval. She is in the middle. She challenges me. She has hopes and dreams. She is my heart.
About a year and a half ago I started seeing my little girl slowly growing into her own. She wasn't my "doll" to dress anymore. She had her own identity. She wanted to be independent of me. Letting go of that stage of her life was very hard. It actually still is. I need the daily reminder that she doesn't fit in the box I picture her in. She really doesn't fit in any box. She is not confined. She likes to spread her wings, and soar. She may fail. She may succeed, but fear of failure doesn't hold her back. She sees opportunity and runs to it. As her mom, I don't want to see her fail or hurt. I want to protect her from it all. Protection sometimes can lead to control. Her independence and my control led to friction. I had to let go but wasn't sure how. I started getting an urgency in my heart. I didn't want to be that over critical controlling mom. I wanted to let her flourish into the young lady God wanted her to be. I also noticed her body was changing and I wanted to prepare her for the next steps of womanhood coming soon. Preparation was vital in these upcoming years. Preparation for the tween/teen years needed to start right away! She brought me to my knees and after that lots of reading involved, which led to intentional investing. It was no longer about my daughter fitting into my box. It was showing her who she was in God's eyes, being who God created her to be, following after His plans, and about planting this in her heart for days to come.

One of the books helped me in a practical and fun way. It's called "8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters". We went on our first date to a tea house. The theme was "your beauty in God's eyes" based on Isaiah 64:8. For those of you who know me, know that going to tea is one of my favorite things to do. In fact I have been bringing my daughter since she was 3 years old. This time it was different though. There was a purpose. Not only to enjoy the scones, but to get a message across. She is not a styrofoam cup or an old mug, but she is fine china! It was a beautiful day. I really felt God's hand in it and saw it in her eyes. Her confidence was no longer conditional on how she looked or what she did. It was in knowing who she was as a daughter of a King.

Another book that I used was "6 ways to keep the "Little" in your girl". This book has helped me in many ways. One way was how to address the upcoming changes in her body that eventually would lead to womanhood. Rather than having an uncomfortable embarrassing talk, we were able to focus on the creation of life and how it is an honor to be able to carry a child and give birth. Motherhood is a gift to look forward to in the very far away future. Psalms 139 was a big part of this day. It was an honest meaningful talk between mother and daughter. It ended with a goodie box filled with all the essentials. Now it was something to look forward to, not dread. I ended it by sharing our love for her. We loved her so much but God loves her more!

Now when all of this took place, I had no idea what big change was going to occur in my life. In our family's life. In the following months I found out I was pregnant and our lives were forever changed. I went through some really rough times. Times where getting out of my bed was not an option. At the same time my daughter started 6th grade and went through many challenges. She had some choices to make. Was she going to go with the crowd or stand for her beliefs? Even if it meant standing alone. Her friendships were changing. Her world around her was changing. Her self worth was attacked. Lots of stuff. Very hard months for her. I was there as much as I could be, but not like I wanted.

There is good news! Guess what? All that urgency. All that preparation. It was all for a reason! It most certainly had God's hand written all over it! I am so thankful God put that urgency inside my heart! Oh and I am glad for once in my life I didn't procrastinate. It was so timely! Yes she went through these tough times, and yes she hurt, but because she knew who she was and who she belonged to, she made it through. When that special day came, she knew exactly what to do. She was secure in it. This is only the beginning. There is still so much to learn. We still struggle in our relationship at times, but investing God's truths into our daughters. Life changing! Extraordinary! To God Be the Glory!

I look forward to sharing more details of our dates. For now, I encourage you to get started. One date could be the difference in your girl's life one day.

My Favorite Books:
8 Great Dates for Mothers and Daughters
6 Ways to keep the "Little" in your Girl
Raising a Daughter After God's Own Heart
31 Days of Prayer For Your Daughter (E-book)