Before it's Too Late---This Ones For The Girls

My daughter. She is the little girl I dreamed of. She is who I wasn't . She has confidence I've only dreamed about. She is the meaning of affection. She loves to be praised in the little things. No need to chase her, she is always there. She remembers everything. She is assertive. She is very independent, but still likes my approval. She is in the middle. She challenges me. She has hopes and dreams. She is my heart.
About a year and a half ago I started seeing my little girl slowly growing into her own. She wasn't my "doll" to dress anymore. She had her own identity. She wanted to be independent of me. Letting go of that stage of her life was very hard. It actually still is. I need the daily reminder that she doesn't fit in the box I picture her in. She really doesn't fit in any box. She is not confined. She likes to spread her wings, and soar. She may fail. She may succeed, but fear of failure doesn't hold her back. She sees opportunity and runs to it. As her mom, I don't want to see her fail or hurt. I want to protect her from it all. Protection sometimes can lead to control. Her independence and my control led to friction. I had to let go but wasn't sure how. I started getting an urgency in my heart. I didn't want to be that over critical controlling mom. I wanted to let her flourish into the young lady God wanted her to be. I also noticed her body was changing and I wanted to prepare her for the next steps of womanhood coming soon. Preparation was vital in these upcoming years. Preparation for the tween/teen years needed to start right away! She brought me to my knees and after that lots of reading involved, which led to intentional investing. It was no longer about my daughter fitting into my box. It was showing her who she was in God's eyes, being who God created her to be, following after His plans, and about planting this in her heart for days to come.

One of the books helped me in a practical and fun way. It's called "8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters". We went on our first date to a tea house. The theme was "your beauty in God's eyes" based on Isaiah 64:8. For those of you who know me, know that going to tea is one of my favorite things to do. In fact I have been bringing my daughter since she was 3 years old. This time it was different though. There was a purpose. Not only to enjoy the scones, but to get a message across. She is not a styrofoam cup or an old mug, but she is fine china! It was a beautiful day. I really felt God's hand in it and saw it in her eyes. Her confidence was no longer conditional on how she looked or what she did. It was in knowing who she was as a daughter of a King.

Another book that I used was "6 ways to keep the "Little" in your girl". This book has helped me in many ways. One way was how to address the upcoming changes in her body that eventually would lead to womanhood. Rather than having an uncomfortable embarrassing talk, we were able to focus on the creation of life and how it is an honor to be able to carry a child and give birth. Motherhood is a gift to look forward to in the very far away future. Psalms 139 was a big part of this day. It was an honest meaningful talk between mother and daughter. It ended with a goodie box filled with all the essentials. Now it was something to look forward to, not dread. I ended it by sharing our love for her. We loved her so much but God loves her more!

Now when all of this took place, I had no idea what big change was going to occur in my life. In our family's life. In the following months I found out I was pregnant and our lives were forever changed. I went through some really rough times. Times where getting out of my bed was not an option. At the same time my daughter started 6th grade and went through many challenges. She had some choices to make. Was she going to go with the crowd or stand for her beliefs? Even if it meant standing alone. Her friendships were changing. Her world around her was changing. Her self worth was attacked. Lots of stuff. Very hard months for her. I was there as much as I could be, but not like I wanted.

There is good news! Guess what? All that urgency. All that preparation. It was all for a reason! It most certainly had God's hand written all over it! I am so thankful God put that urgency inside my heart! Oh and I am glad for once in my life I didn't procrastinate. It was so timely! Yes she went through these tough times, and yes she hurt, but because she knew who she was and who she belonged to, she made it through. When that special day came, she knew exactly what to do. She was secure in it. This is only the beginning. There is still so much to learn. We still struggle in our relationship at times, but investing God's truths into our daughters. Life changing! Extraordinary! To God Be the Glory!

I look forward to sharing more details of our dates. For now, I encourage you to get started. One date could be the difference in your girl's life one day.

My Favorite Books:
8 Great Dates for Mothers and Daughters
6 Ways to keep the "Little" in your Girl
Raising a Daughter After God's Own Heart
31 Days of Prayer For Your Daughter (E-book)