Making Room For God's Hand

My family had the opportunity to go to Disneyland last week. It was my youngest son's very first time. Of course he loved it! Enjoy the pictures while I share the latest on my heart. Sometimes God has to show me things again and again. He is so good to me. Even when I forget the simple things. His love remains.

I heard this last weekend from one of the speakers at #ifgathering (I can't remember who) "Make room for God to move". I can't stop thinking about it, specifically in the life of my children. Make room for God to move on behalf of my children.




It's my tendency to take over and micro-manage every single thing so they will succeed. I know I've talked about this many times, but it is a HUGE struggle. But God. But God. He is showing me to sit. To be still. To pray hard. Let His Grace Cover the Inadequacies. Let His Sovereign Power do the fighting and the intervening. Then God will be glorified through any and all victories in their life. When we try to do it all, we are taking away the chance of our children seeing the hand of God in their own lives. There is no better way for our children to grow in the Lord than experiencing first hand how much God sees and knows them. Won't it be such a wonderful moment when they can know in their own heart that the situation just had to be God's hand working on their behalf!!!!?  Pure joy! I just experienced one of these moments yesterday with one of my children. I look forward to many more as the two older ones grow into adulthood.  I'm learning. I think motherhood is a lifetime of learning. Today I am reminding myself: Be still. Trust God. Pray hard. Breath.

To God Be The Glory!

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Armed With Strength

Happy February! I missed new years, so considering this is my first blog of 2016, I felt like I had to celebrate!  So, happy day! Happy thursday! We are already in the second month of this new year and I still have lots on my heart from the last few months.  Time to just write it all down.  The sun has been shining outside the last couple of days and I'd say it reflects whats going on inside of me also. God is great!

At the beginning of this year I felt God showing me that I was going to walk in strength this year. I was going to be strong.  If there was a word for 2016, it was  "STRENGTH" .  There was a road ahead that required this of me. I needed to prepare and rise to the call. At first I raised my hand and said Yes!!!  Then reality hit. At that time I was thinking, I am literally at one of the weakest times in my life. I am not strong at all. I am weak physically because of eating too much and not exercising. I am weak emotionally because I experienced different types of hurt, put calluses on my heart, and opened the door to discontentment and comparison. I am weak mentally because I started relying on myself and not God. Then comes my weakness spiritually because I felt like all I did was cry to God and I couldn't give any of His goodness to anyone. My well was dry. Totally not qualified to be a Woman of Strength!!!! This is the great part though.  With God, we don't have to qualify to be worthy! We are! Right!!?  God's grace, Jesus's blood makes us worthy and strong. So at that point I knew that if I had any strength in my being..... It Was and Is ALL God!

I started fighting back. I think my first step was acknowledging what was going on inside of my heart. I read a lot.  Even in the midst of all this weakness, I still pressed on. I am still pressing on. One article I read was about allowing God to heal my heart rather than build calluses around it. That hit me right where it needed to. Being a mom, if your child gets hurt, you hurt a thousand times more. Most of the time I get over it, but this time I had hardened my heart. It wasn't good. I didn't "guard my heart," as the scriptures say to do. Then from there, I experienced some disappointments, received news about my health that I didn't want to hear, and went through some more growing pains of motherhood. My heart wasn't guarded.  Looking at social media was the worst thing I could do for myself. But there I was, seeing all of the perfection blasted through the holidays and I fell into the lies of discontentment and comparison.  I just wanted to be alone.  I wanted to experience this pain alone. At that time I also condemned myself for wanting to go through it alone. Now looking back, I realize that some people like to go through their pain alone while others like people to ride along with them. Neither one is wrong. Condemnation is a heavy thing. Don't fall victim to it. God wants us to be free. Just another subject I can go on about.

Thank you Jesus,  that all ended. I started praying and asking God to heal my heart. To soften it. To guard it. It is still tender, but the healing is very much at work. This is the absolute best part! I started looking up scriptures of strength. In the past I have always remembered scriptures of God telling us to Be Strong, but for some reason the scriptures that kept jumping out at me all had to do with God being my strength!!! I don't have to be because He IS!!!  Best news ever to this weary momma! God is Great!

Before I wrap this up, I don't share all of this to have a pity party. Whenever I share my heart, it is always because I know if I am going through these things that I am not the only one. If I could somehow encourage one person by putting out my authentic heart for all the world to read about, then it is worth it. Pray for me, yes. Pray for all of your sisters in Christ who may be having tough seasons as well.  We all need each other. Thank you for reading those of you in Russia, China, Germany and good ole' U.S.A.  God is Great! To God Be The Glory!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am STRONG. (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9-10‬ NIV)

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the STRENGTH of my heart and my portion forever. (‭Psalm‬ ‭73‬:‭26‬ NIV)

But I will sing of your STRENGTH in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. (‭Psalm‬ ‭59‬:‭16‬ NIV)

You are my STRENGTH I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. (‭Psalm‬ ‭59‬:‭17‬ NIV)

The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the STRENGTH of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (‭Psalms‬ ‭27‬:‭1‬ NKJV)

Finally, be STRONG in the Lord and in his mighty power. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭10‬ NIV)

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives STRENGTH to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their STRENGTH. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭28-31‬ NIV)

“Be STRONG and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be STRONG and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (‭Joshua‬ ‭1‬:‭7-9‬ NIV)“

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with STRENGTH and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. (‭2 Samuel‬ ‭22‬:‭31-34‬ NIV)

Who Am I When Life Is Good?

I can't believe we are in November! My favorite month out of the year. I talked about this a little on Instagram already. I love the season of thankfulness and hope that everyone can learn how life changing being thankful can be. Not just on Thanksgiving, but ever single day of the year. Being thankful for the little things can really change your perspective on all of the challenges that life can bring. With my party of five it seems like something is always going on with one of us. School issues, health issues, control issues, unmet expectations, stress and on and on the list can go. So I believe strongly in focusing and finding the good in the midst of it all.


I want to talk about something totally off the wall though. Yesterday I was having a good day. No major challenges. I even cooked! Then the Lord spoke to my heart. How am I responding to God and those around me when life is good?? When all is well?? It's been a tough year in our house, but it's getting better. One day at a time. I've always heard that a person's true character is revealed in tough times, so I don't want to take away from that. Yes, those tough times bring us to our knees, and we have a choice to fight, grow and learn from the difficulties. For me, I held onto scriptures and prayed like never before! I am asking myself today. What am I doing with the good? Am I keeping it all to myself and my own party of five or am I sharing it with others? Am I reverent to the hand of God in my life? Am I sharing my gratitude with Christ? Am I talking to Him? Or am I getting relaxed and going through the motions? I strongly believe that I can't just sit here blessed as can be and think it's ok.  There is a reason God rescues us and saves us and it's not so we can be selfish with all He gives us. The story of the Good Samaritan comes to mind and I don't ever want to be so caught up in my blessed life that I just keep on walking by.


I wrote a little list to remind myself of what I should be during the good times.

1. Humbly thank God for everything! For never leaving me! For His love that pursues me ! For His Faithfulness! For provision!

2. Share my joy with Christ with praise and adoration!

3. Reach out to those who are hurting. Offer compassion.

4. Be sensitive to those around me undergoing trials.

5. Never stop reading God's word and praying it and meditating on it because that's exactly what helps me in the difficult times that arise.

To God Be The Glory!

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” (‭Luke‬ ‭10‬:‭30-37‬ NIV)

A Football Night To Remember....Moments of My Son's Senior Year

Last Friday night was Senior Night for my son's football team. First of all, how did my son become a senior? He was just a freshman!! These years have seriously flown! Don't blink people! We are here though and I am trying hard just to enjoy the present and treasure every moment with him. My daughter was unable to make it to senior night due to a commitment at her school and my youngest son fell asleep for the very first time this football season. At first I was disappointed because I had envisioned a beautiful family picture celebrating our first born, but soon it dawned on me that this was the perfect way to celebrate our son. We were able to completely focus on him and take in all the joy and happiness that the night brought.

I wanted to share more than pictures of a very special night because this football season has been one that we will always look back on and I don't want to forget about everything that has taken place.  People see the victory, but they don't know the pain, disappointment, and uncertainty that we have all had to go through this year.  Many people have asked me what is next in my son's football journey.  The honest answer is I don't know and I am actually ok with that.  My son is so much more than a football player. He is an excellent football player, but there is so much more to him than just football.  God has a plan for my son's life and I am trusting in that. I pray daily over him and saying out loud "he is yours Lord" gives this momma that peace that passes all understanding. Its not up to me, its not up to my husband, its not up to my son's coaches. It is all in God's hands.  

The very first game of this football season I was both excited and nervous for my son. I knew it was time for all of the hundreds of hours of hard work, sacrifice, and dedication to the sport he loved to pay off.  I knew many eyes were watching him and I also knew these football parents were never shy in giving their opinions out loud. He had a great game, but unfortunately the receivers couldn't hold onto multiple balls. Thankfully, his skills were far from criticized. He received a lot of recognition that game. One parent even referred to him as "the unsung hero" of the game. He was also the "offensive player" that night.  My son and his team had some tough opponents ahead of them and they won some games and they lost some. He would come home like he was in a battle sometimes. Extremely sore. Never quitting, always giving his very best.  Two weeks before league play my son sustained an injury. Did he blame anyone for it? No. He blamed himself. He said he held onto the ball too long. That is the type of guy he is. I can't go into detail, but news of his injury broke all of our hearts. We thought he was done. He is a fighter though. He didn't just quit when he could have easily been done. To everyone's surprise my son only missed 1 game and by the grace of God, he has been playing since. His coaches have nothing but good things to say about his character and determination. The season isn't over. I don't know what tomorrow holds. I do know this. God has always upheld my son and He always will. This next picture, blurry, but the emotions I felt walking alongside my son and my husband proudly holding high the #3 jersey is something I will never forget. I am beyond proud of who my son is on and off of the field. His example of humility and grace towards others deserves a standing ovation. You may not see me, but I am there standing tall and very very proud of my first born! 

"So do not fear, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will UPHOLD you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

My son has been so blessed to receive the best support and prayers from all of our extended family and friends. I am so very thankful for everyone! These are a few of his biggest fans! There are many more who love him and pray for his protection and I appreciate those heartfelt prayers more than anything! 

Papa and Grandma

Nana and Tata

Uncle G and Auntie Yvette

Cousins

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20,21

To God Be The Glory!

Cheering Them On Through It All

I've been hearing the song lately "Cheerleader". The lyrics say something like "I think I found myself a cheerleader".   I don't know who sings the song, if it's old or new because I'm not hip like that. The important thing is it got my attention!  Every time I hear it I think back at my early years of marriage. That was some of the best advice I ever received! To be my husband's Biggest Cheerleader!  Over the course of almost 21 years there have been times that I was very intentional about it and worked hard at praising my man. Then, being very human and selfish, there were also plenty of times that I failed miserably in this area. I say miserably because if you are feeling miserable, then most likely you are not able to give out praise and affirmation to others. I think everyone goes through that. Well, all of us who are human anyways.


So I'm giving myself a little reminder, because marriage takes work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It's an ongoing effort to love selflessly and run the race with your soulmate no matter what lies in front of you! So how exactly can I be my husband's biggest cheerleader?? How can you be your husband's biggest cheerleader? There are many ways to cheer them on effectively!  Affirmation affirmation affirmation! Find out their love language and love them in the way they need to be loved!  Not in the way you need to be loved. Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service are suggested in the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  Remind them of how important they are to your family! Their role as husband and father is irreplacable! They have an enormous amount of influence in your children's life that is needed in such a way that a mom cannot provide. Thank them for working hard to provide for your family. Remind them that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. Remind them of how strong God made them.  Remind them of who they are in Christ! Remind them that you would choose them again and again.  Remind them that they are enough. Remind them of all the things you love about them. Take note of those physical attributes that you first fell in love with. If you like their eyes, tell them!!!  If you love their strong smooth arms, hold onto them! Hee hee!  "Do not withhold good from those whom it is due, when it is in your power to act" Proverbs 3:27.  Thank them for coming to your rescue time and time again!  Tell them you are praying for them and actually pray for them! God can move in more ways on your behalf then you could ever imagine.   I'm sure there are a lot more ways to cheer, this is just from my heart.  If anything, pick one thing you love about your husband and run with it!  Overwhelm him with your love! Look for the good and you will find it!


So if you have ever been to a football game, you will notice that the cheerleaders are cheering throughout the whole game!! Not just when the team is winning or a touchdown has been scored.  They cheer when the team has no points on the board.  They cheer when the game is tied and players are getting more intense. They cheer if their team is losing by twenty! They are in it no matter what. Ball fumbles, or an interception occurs, they are still cheering for the next play to defend well or sack a player! Sounds a lot like "in sickness and in health" "in good times and challenging times".  From experience, it's easy to cheer when everything is going well.  Let's not stop there.  Let's continue to cheer our men on when a tackle in life has happened. When their ball gets intercepted.  When life hits hard in ways you can't even fathom.  Be their biggest cheerleader and help them back up! Let them know you are their to support them no matter what!  After all, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9-12‬ NIV)
To God Be The Glory!

Love Them, Don't Control Them

I can't believe that we are almost in May of 2015.  With May comes Mother's Day, Memorial Weekend, end of another school year, and hints of summer coming very soon.  How did this happen? All of a sudden my girl will officially become a "teenager" in two months (she reminded me yesterday that it was two months exactly) and my oldest son is putting his schedule together for his senior year in high school.  Meanwhile, our baby is growing and changing daily. Discovering so many different things.  Seeing the world through his eyes is just Pure Joy!

I've had my ups and downs this year as a mother of three in three different seasons of life. I am thankful for time with each of my children.  I treasure heart to heart conversations and when our party of five is all together, my heart is very full!!  With that being said, there have also been lots of tears this year, because the love I have for them just weighs so heavy on my heart at times and tears seem to be my form of therapy. They release what I want to hold onto.  What I want to control.  They usually accompany my hands being thrown up in the air and confessing my inadequacy in this role of....Motherhood.  If only I could control their every action, thoughts, and choices.  Then they would turn out the way I had imagined them to, or expected them to, not at all taking into consideration God's Plan for their life. Here's the thing that God has been showing me.  That little thing called "control", its NOT what God has called me to do.  My children are human, just like you and me and guess what?? They aren't going to live a perfect life.  They will make mistakes and learn from them.  They will learn though.  They will grow and flourish into what God wants them to be! Not what I want them to be!  This is what God has been pressing on this momma's heart.........LOVE.......just LOVE them!!! Give them to the ONE who IS in control and stop expecting perfectionism and LOVE!! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

You may be thinking that this is a no brainer. Of course we love our children!  In fact I've heard it said that nothing compares to the love a mother has for her child.  Why am I even bringing this up? For me! I need this reminder of what love is, what love looks like, and honestly what love isn't. 

1 Corinthians 13:4,5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

I just want to focus on these two verses.  I think there is enough here to convict me of not always loving.  Where is my patience when they forget things? Where is my kindness when they are just being themselves? Maybe envy and boasting isn't a big problem, but PROUD or PRIDE. Having to be right? My way is the only way? One of many things I've learned from my mom is humility. She would admit it if she was wrong and apologize.  Saying sorry to our children is not a sign of weakness. It's showing them that we are human and we need God in the same way they do.  Ok, next one. Dishonor others. I looked this one up. Dishonor also means to discredit, shame, or humiliate. Hmmm, I think its safe to say that our pride can cause us to dishonor. Make ourselves look good.  I don't want to humiliate my children. Unfortunately sometimes my words have done that. Next, self-seeking. My will instead of God's will.  Easily angered?? Not me!!! Lord help us! Last but not least, who keeps record of wrongs?? I think that is enough to chew on for now. This is why I need to write these things down. I need the reminder! 

I read this quote from Ann Voskamp and it really reasonated with me:

"YOU LOVE AS WELL AS YOU ARE WILLING TO BE INCONVENIENCED. It's never too late to live a remarkable life.  Just start leaving marks of love now--right when its inconvenient. And then tomorrow.  Not twenty years from now.  Not two weeks from now. Now. Right now. Always in the inconvenient. Right now. " 

Inconvenient Love.  I want to love like that. With three children, its a juggling act. I help one and think I am done, then another one has a need, and so on and so on.  There are times  that I am just tired and it does seem like one child misses out on that inconvenient love. I try to validate my laziness by convincing myself that they will be fine, but the truth is, they need my inconvenient love more than anything! Time is crucial!  Loving in our children's love language is another example of inconvenient love.  Actually I should say child, because each child has a different love language(s).  Maybe its Physical Affection, going out of my way to let them snuggle with me considering I'm one of those who like her space.  One of my daughter's love languages is Acts of Service. She has always been my independent one, but every once in awhile she will ask me to help her out with ironing, getting her breakfast, etc. and its usually last minute and very inconvenient for me, but that's where it is....inconvenient love.

With a teen, tween, and toddler every day is an adventure.  Every night is an adventure!!  I never know what each day will bring. I do know this.  I want my children to know that I LOVED them.  Not because of what they did, or how they performed in life.  Simply because of who they are.  They are enough.  What it all comes down to is leaving all my cares, worries, and concerns at the feet of Jesus and just LOVING! To God Be The Glory!

 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on LOVE which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭12-14‬

Looking Back on Valentines With A Grateful Heart

While I was visiting my son's school today it brought back memories of Valentines Day during my high school years. I went to an all girls catholic school and in those days deliveries were allowed. It seemed to me like every girl got called to the office for a delivery except me! I dreaded Valentines. Seeing all those girls with balloons, flowers, teddy bears and their big smiles was annoying. In the meantime, I was a very shy teenage girl who didn't really have a chance of a relationship because I couldn't even talk to a guy! lol Thank God those days are over!


In my early years of marriage I felt entitled on Valentines Day. My husband needs to buy me this and that and take me out and make me feel loved. It's my turn to feel spoiled and like a queen! Gee, someone needed to get her "self" out of the way! Ha! Thank God those days didn't last long either!


Then the kids came along. I must admit, one of my favorite times of the year with the little ones. Decorating the house, baking together, making valentines for their classmates, making a special breakfast, heart shaped everything in their lunches, and eventually nice family dinners, including chocolate covered strawberries that have been a favorite valentine tradition. My way of loving on my family and making sure everyone feels loved on this special day. No longer about me, it's all about them.  Don't get me wrong, I love a handwritten note every now and then.  It could be any day of the year though! Add some quality time to that and I'm more than happy!


Looking back at who I was is kind of embarrassing, but it is also encouraging. I believe God was setting me a part during those difficult high school years. See, most of those young loves were most likely very temporary, but I waited and God had something so much greater for me. He had someone set aside who would be so much more than chocolate candy and stuffed teddy bears. He had someone who would be my very best friend, who would lay down his life for me and my family daily, who would love me even at my lowest when I couldn't give anything back, who would care so much that it hurts, who would love me unconditionally and so on. Now that is the kind of love I needed. More importantly, that is the kind of love I need to give. Selfless love. Love that doesn't need anything in return. Love that just keeps on loving no matter what waves come crashing or how high the mountain is to climb. Love that two best friends can give to each other every single day of their life! Deep deep love. Love that is a direct result of knowing Christ, the best example of love. I am forever grateful to have this. Thank you God for giving me my incredible husband!  To God Be The Glory!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-8‬ NIV)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8