Cheering Them On Through It All

I've been hearing the song lately "Cheerleader". The lyrics say something like "I think I found myself a cheerleader".   I don't know who sings the song, if it's old or new because I'm not hip like that. The important thing is it got my attention!  Every time I hear it I think back at my early years of marriage. That was some of the best advice I ever received! To be my husband's Biggest Cheerleader!  Over the course of almost 21 years there have been times that I was very intentional about it and worked hard at praising my man. Then, being very human and selfish, there were also plenty of times that I failed miserably in this area. I say miserably because if you are feeling miserable, then most likely you are not able to give out praise and affirmation to others. I think everyone goes through that. Well, all of us who are human anyways.


So I'm giving myself a little reminder, because marriage takes work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It's an ongoing effort to love selflessly and run the race with your soulmate no matter what lies in front of you! So how exactly can I be my husband's biggest cheerleader?? How can you be your husband's biggest cheerleader? There are many ways to cheer them on effectively!  Affirmation affirmation affirmation! Find out their love language and love them in the way they need to be loved!  Not in the way you need to be loved. Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service are suggested in the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  Remind them of how important they are to your family! Their role as husband and father is irreplacable! They have an enormous amount of influence in your children's life that is needed in such a way that a mom cannot provide. Thank them for working hard to provide for your family. Remind them that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. Remind them of how strong God made them.  Remind them of who they are in Christ! Remind them that you would choose them again and again.  Remind them that they are enough. Remind them of all the things you love about them. Take note of those physical attributes that you first fell in love with. If you like their eyes, tell them!!!  If you love their strong smooth arms, hold onto them! Hee hee!  "Do not withhold good from those whom it is due, when it is in your power to act" Proverbs 3:27.  Thank them for coming to your rescue time and time again!  Tell them you are praying for them and actually pray for them! God can move in more ways on your behalf then you could ever imagine.   I'm sure there are a lot more ways to cheer, this is just from my heart.  If anything, pick one thing you love about your husband and run with it!  Overwhelm him with your love! Look for the good and you will find it!


So if you have ever been to a football game, you will notice that the cheerleaders are cheering throughout the whole game!! Not just when the team is winning or a touchdown has been scored.  They cheer when the team has no points on the board.  They cheer when the game is tied and players are getting more intense. They cheer if their team is losing by twenty! They are in it no matter what. Ball fumbles, or an interception occurs, they are still cheering for the next play to defend well or sack a player! Sounds a lot like "in sickness and in health" "in good times and challenging times".  From experience, it's easy to cheer when everything is going well.  Let's not stop there.  Let's continue to cheer our men on when a tackle in life has happened. When their ball gets intercepted.  When life hits hard in ways you can't even fathom.  Be their biggest cheerleader and help them back up! Let them know you are their to support them no matter what!  After all, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9-12‬ NIV)
To God Be The Glory!

Love Them, Don't Control Them

I can't believe that we are almost in May of 2015.  With May comes Mother's Day, Memorial Weekend, end of another school year, and hints of summer coming very soon.  How did this happen? All of a sudden my girl will officially become a "teenager" in two months (she reminded me yesterday that it was two months exactly) and my oldest son is putting his schedule together for his senior year in high school.  Meanwhile, our baby is growing and changing daily. Discovering so many different things.  Seeing the world through his eyes is just Pure Joy!

I've had my ups and downs this year as a mother of three in three different seasons of life. I am thankful for time with each of my children.  I treasure heart to heart conversations and when our party of five is all together, my heart is very full!!  With that being said, there have also been lots of tears this year, because the love I have for them just weighs so heavy on my heart at times and tears seem to be my form of therapy. They release what I want to hold onto.  What I want to control.  They usually accompany my hands being thrown up in the air and confessing my inadequacy in this role of....Motherhood.  If only I could control their every action, thoughts, and choices.  Then they would turn out the way I had imagined them to, or expected them to, not at all taking into consideration God's Plan for their life. Here's the thing that God has been showing me.  That little thing called "control", its NOT what God has called me to do.  My children are human, just like you and me and guess what?? They aren't going to live a perfect life.  They will make mistakes and learn from them.  They will learn though.  They will grow and flourish into what God wants them to be! Not what I want them to be!  This is what God has been pressing on this momma's heart.........LOVE.......just LOVE them!!! Give them to the ONE who IS in control and stop expecting perfectionism and LOVE!! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

You may be thinking that this is a no brainer. Of course we love our children!  In fact I've heard it said that nothing compares to the love a mother has for her child.  Why am I even bringing this up? For me! I need this reminder of what love is, what love looks like, and honestly what love isn't. 

1 Corinthians 13:4,5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

I just want to focus on these two verses.  I think there is enough here to convict me of not always loving.  Where is my patience when they forget things? Where is my kindness when they are just being themselves? Maybe envy and boasting isn't a big problem, but PROUD or PRIDE. Having to be right? My way is the only way? One of many things I've learned from my mom is humility. She would admit it if she was wrong and apologize.  Saying sorry to our children is not a sign of weakness. It's showing them that we are human and we need God in the same way they do.  Ok, next one. Dishonor others. I looked this one up. Dishonor also means to discredit, shame, or humiliate. Hmmm, I think its safe to say that our pride can cause us to dishonor. Make ourselves look good.  I don't want to humiliate my children. Unfortunately sometimes my words have done that. Next, self-seeking. My will instead of God's will.  Easily angered?? Not me!!! Lord help us! Last but not least, who keeps record of wrongs?? I think that is enough to chew on for now. This is why I need to write these things down. I need the reminder! 

I read this quote from Ann Voskamp and it really reasonated with me:

"YOU LOVE AS WELL AS YOU ARE WILLING TO BE INCONVENIENCED. It's never too late to live a remarkable life.  Just start leaving marks of love now--right when its inconvenient. And then tomorrow.  Not twenty years from now.  Not two weeks from now. Now. Right now. Always in the inconvenient. Right now. " 

Inconvenient Love.  I want to love like that. With three children, its a juggling act. I help one and think I am done, then another one has a need, and so on and so on.  There are times  that I am just tired and it does seem like one child misses out on that inconvenient love. I try to validate my laziness by convincing myself that they will be fine, but the truth is, they need my inconvenient love more than anything! Time is crucial!  Loving in our children's love language is another example of inconvenient love.  Actually I should say child, because each child has a different love language(s).  Maybe its Physical Affection, going out of my way to let them snuggle with me considering I'm one of those who like her space.  One of my daughter's love languages is Acts of Service. She has always been my independent one, but every once in awhile she will ask me to help her out with ironing, getting her breakfast, etc. and its usually last minute and very inconvenient for me, but that's where it is....inconvenient love.

With a teen, tween, and toddler every day is an adventure.  Every night is an adventure!!  I never know what each day will bring. I do know this.  I want my children to know that I LOVED them.  Not because of what they did, or how they performed in life.  Simply because of who they are.  They are enough.  What it all comes down to is leaving all my cares, worries, and concerns at the feet of Jesus and just LOVING! To God Be The Glory!

 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on LOVE which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭12-14‬

Looking Back on Valentines With A Grateful Heart

While I was visiting my son's school today it brought back memories of Valentines Day during my high school years. I went to an all girls catholic school and in those days deliveries were allowed. It seemed to me like every girl got called to the office for a delivery except me! I dreaded Valentines. Seeing all those girls with balloons, flowers, teddy bears and their big smiles was annoying. In the meantime, I was a very shy teenage girl who didn't really have a chance of a relationship because I couldn't even talk to a guy! lol Thank God those days are over!


In my early years of marriage I felt entitled on Valentines Day. My husband needs to buy me this and that and take me out and make me feel loved. It's my turn to feel spoiled and like a queen! Gee, someone needed to get her "self" out of the way! Ha! Thank God those days didn't last long either!


Then the kids came along. I must admit, one of my favorite times of the year with the little ones. Decorating the house, baking together, making valentines for their classmates, making a special breakfast, heart shaped everything in their lunches, and eventually nice family dinners, including chocolate covered strawberries that have been a favorite valentine tradition. My way of loving on my family and making sure everyone feels loved on this special day. No longer about me, it's all about them.  Don't get me wrong, I love a handwritten note every now and then.  It could be any day of the year though! Add some quality time to that and I'm more than happy!


Looking back at who I was is kind of embarrassing, but it is also encouraging. I believe God was setting me a part during those difficult high school years. See, most of those young loves were most likely very temporary, but I waited and God had something so much greater for me. He had someone set aside who would be so much more than chocolate candy and stuffed teddy bears. He had someone who would be my very best friend, who would lay down his life for me and my family daily, who would love me even at my lowest when I couldn't give anything back, who would care so much that it hurts, who would love me unconditionally and so on. Now that is the kind of love I needed. More importantly, that is the kind of love I need to give. Selfless love. Love that doesn't need anything in return. Love that just keeps on loving no matter what waves come crashing or how high the mountain is to climb. Love that two best friends can give to each other every single day of their life! Deep deep love. Love that is a direct result of knowing Christ, the best example of love. I am forever grateful to have this. Thank you God for giving me my incredible husband!  To God Be The Glory!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-8‬ NIV)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

A New Day Is More Like It

So it's a new year. Starting over. A new beginning. A time when I can envision the best version of who I want to be! The mom who works out everyday, cooks for her family, keeps a clean house, keeps prayer journals, says the right things to her kids, plans ways to be a better wife and the list goes on and on and on. Then reality hits. My unrealistic expectations end up leading to an overwhelmed anxious heart . Then I stand numb and useless because the mountain I have created in my head is just too huge to even attempt. Then failure wants to creep in. I'm sure this is a common cycle for others too. Maybe not. Maybe I'm the only one.

 This year I have sort of been avoiding my New Years "reflection time". I haven't wanted to put expectations on myself. Knowing where that all leads. Knowing my circumstances. Goals for a whole year? Really? I can't even see what tomorrow will bring. Last year I worked a lot on "letting go". I really had no choice. When a baby enters your life and you are used to everything being a certain way, you can either get really frustrated or Let.It.Go.. I found peace in letting go of what I couldn't control and trusting God to carry my family and myself through it all. Looking back, it kind of all seems like a big blur. There were waves of darkness and hopelessness, and then there were waves of pure joy and celebration. I've told people that this past year was the hardest year of my life. They usually look at me strange. Juggling my new party of five was like nothing I've ever experienced. My need for Christ was greater than ever. The beautiful thing is that God took me just as I was and stretched me and carried me and sustained me. I made it! Not on my own. Not by myself. Not because of me. In Christ alone. I let go of me and held onto HIM. I am excited about what is to come! I actually didn't plan on writing this, but maybe someone out there needs HOPE.

 Now how am I going to start this new year? I don't want to dwell on how hard last year was, but I do want to learn from it! I want to move. I want to move forward with purpose and hope. No unrealistic expectations, but small daily goals. I like to think of it more as my "new day" goals and prayers. Because of God's grace we do have "new days" every single time the sun rises. It's a new day. A new opportunity to change, try harder, and do a little bit better. A lot of people have their "word " for the new year. I just can't seem to think of one word though. These are words that have already been at work in my heart and I need their reminder daily. One day at a time, staying close to my Savior, I am looking forward to what 2015 will bring!

 FREE: I want to live in freedom. Free from people pleasing, comparison, criticism, a hardened heart, my fears, and perfectionism. I want to be free to love and give and receive all that God has for me. TIME: I want to give more of my time. To God, my family, and to people I don't even know. Looking up and around me for ways that I can be the hands and feet of Jesus. My grandma recently told my daughter that more than anything she appreciates the time that she spends with her. DREAM: I want to dream again! I get so caught up in the day to day routine that I forget what it's like to dream! Being content with where God has me, yet kindling the desires in my heart that I forgot I had! If I'm telling my daughter to dream big, then I need to do the same! I still have a lot of living to do! PURPOSE: I need this reminder more than anything! There is a purpose in all that do! God has a purpose and a plan. Even in the stuff that seems meaningless and unimportant. When I go about my day knowing I have purpose, there is hope and joy and strength!

  Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭46‬:‭4‬ NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ NIV) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ NIV) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭37‬ NIV) If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭9-12‬ NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11-13‬ NIV)

Happy New Year! To God Be The Glory! 

I Am a Football Mom

Friday Night Lights has been under way for a couple months now.  Years in the waiting! What an exciting night to look forward to when your son plays quarterback!  This year has been a little different though.  Instead of seeing my son start the game, I've seen him on the sidelines.  Some games he plays 5 minutes, others games maybe part of the last quarter, and then there has been a couple that he didn't play at all. Although this has been hard for all of us, I want to share why I stand in great admiration of my son! I am choosing to focus my attention on who he is during this long wait. He is one I am extremely proud of!

 To understand where I am coming from, it would help a little to learn about my son's background . He has been playing football since he was 7 or 8. He loves it! He has played quarterback and knows his position very well!  What started off as a fun game of flag football, turned into a passion for the game! From flag football he played tackle for a few years and then it was onto High school ! He was playing basketball too, but now it was time to get serious and really start pursuing his dream!  He has gone to quarterback training camps, received private lessons, and trained trained trained!  In the weight room and any other facility that would help him to get better!  This has pretty much been a year round endeavor.  Training is a part of him! His heart has always been completely committed to the game.  I don't think I've ever heard him complain?   He has never been "given" his quarterback position.  He has battled and persevered his way into being the "starter".   Both freshman year and sophomore year he was awarded Offensive MVP and he was very successful. Never proud or arrogant, just loving the game! 

Here we are in his Junior year.  Knowing he has worked exceptionally hard since last years season ended, we all had high hopes for his first varsity season!  When I say work hard, I mean he took maybe a week or two off last December and one week off in July. That's it. He hasn't missed one practice! He has been sick, fever and all and still fulfilled his commitment.  His choice.  With all that he has invested, how can he not be discouraged? How can his dad and I not be disappointed?  When I say disappointed, I am not referring to my son.  I'm referring to the game.  The outcome thus far.  I've sat in the bleachers with such a heavy heart for my quarterback.

So how is it that I stand with admiration of my boy even when he is on the sidelines? Almost every week tears run down my cheek when I see what a strong team player he is. Whether it's on the field or sidelines. He ALWAYS is the first to high five or congratulate players on a good catch, hit, or touchdown! He paces that field and keeps his head high with enthusiasm while he waits and hopes to be put in. His attitude is a perfect reflection of who he has become. The year is not over yet, and we are still hoping and trusting in God's perfect plan for our son' s life. We know playing or not playing doesn't define his value or worth. We support him no matter what!

Do you know what God has been teaching me through this? All these character traits my son is learning and developing in his life will never go to waste! Perseverance, determination, commitment, focus, hard work, humility, and heart are all a part of my son! These qualities are going to make him a great husband, father, and employee or entrepreneur one day. See, he's learning that sometimes when things get a little difficult or uncomfortable that you just don't quit! You stay focused and determined! You never give up! He's learning that there is always competition, but hard work will pay off! He's learning that sometimes circumstances around his life, have nothing to do with his lack of ability. He's learning that God has a perfect plan for him. These days are long. School, practice, homework, and sleep. Day in and day out. For a lot of teens, this can get old. For a few though, the reward will be great!

I am trusting God, praying daily for my son, and I will be in those bleachers with my heart beating with pride for #3. I will give him all the support he needs! To God Be The Glory! Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5, 6 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

Watching My Daughter Stand Tall

I've always tried to make sure that my children have had opportunities to fly their little wings and use the gifts that God has given them. When my oldest son was little, I let him try everything. As he got a little older his passions became evident in basketball and football. My husband coached him in both sports from the time he was eight, till he was in high school. Lots of practices and games on the weekend. Time that was well spent! I believe most of my son's hard work ethic is a direct result of everything he learned from my husband!

In the meantime, my daughter has spent many weekends supporting her big brother! That's been a normal in her life. Sometimes watching three to four games during a tournament or sitting on the bleachers in the blazing hot sun for a football game. She is one of his greatest fans though! Unlike her brother, athleticism isn't one of her strengths. She could really care less about a basketball game or football game! God had something totally different in mind when He created this beautiful girl. I've struggled at times with her ambition and ability to try anything! Can't she just find one thing she likes and work hard at it? Instead she likes to try new things with the change of the seasons. At times this frustrates me, because I want to fit her in the same box as her brother. Instead, I have to remember that she didn't come into this world to be my masterpiece. She belongs to someone so much greater than I! She was created in a way that surpasses my knowledge and understanding! I can't let my fears of what she will or won't be, prevent her from flying.

God has blessed my girl with many gifts, but this one gift, I admire the most. Perhaps it's because I know it has nothing to do with anything I did, and everything to do with God's handprint on her life. Ever since my girl was little she has had this ability to get in front of a large crowd and perform fearlessly. When she was six she auditioned for Annie and had to sing by herself in a huge auditorium in front of a few hundred people. Momma was sitting there shaking and she sings the lines with full confidence. Then when she was 8 years old she spoke at my grandfather's memorial service on a stage in front of a large crowd again. This wasn't a couple of cute lines. This was her interpretation of why he was her hero. A priceless moment I have captured in my heart. Then 6th grade rolls around. Finally she is old enough to run for ASB! Once again, she speaks with confidence even though her microphone went out. Unfortunately she didn't win. Do you think that would stop her from running this year? Of course not! Not only is she running, but she chose a position where the competition is going to be intense. She had opportunity to take the easy road and win a certain position automatically, but that's not my girl. She is definitely a risk taker! To be honest, I tried to coerce her into taking the easy road. Let's just be safe. Let's be realistic. I don't want to see her experience another loss. I don't want to feel the pain of possibly watching another election go by defeated. Sometimes our most heartfelt intentions can be used as road blocks in our children's lives. This day she didn't need her mom to keep her safe, she needed her mom to lock arms with her and believe in her! Once again I almost let my fears crush her amazing ability to dream big and go for the best! I was quickly convicted, apologized and jumped on board! Having my unconditional support was huge to her. Side note. It's never too late to Stop. Make a U-Turn and start all over. Sometimes us moms start going on and on even though we know we are wrong and we let pride take over. Maybe I'm the only one? Let's humble ourselves and admit we don't know it all and choose the road that will help our children grow and thrive! 

Tomorrow my girl will go before her classmates and give her speech. I will be praying that she does her very best! I will be in the crowd cheering her on. Do I want her to win? Of course! To me she has already won though. She is brave and courageous! She has this confidence and determination that brings her to speak. I admire it so much. I pray that she will only grow stronger in this gift and that Christ would be reflected in all she does! Winning or loosing this election does not define her. She is "God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them" Eph. 2:10. God will fulfill his purpose in her life and I need to trust in His plan. I need to seek His wisdom and knowledge so I won't be a road block, instead I need to grab the shovel and start digging with her as she digs deep for her dreams and God's plan for her life. To God Be The Glory!!

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. (Psalms 139:13, 14 NLT) You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (Psalms 139:16 NLT)

Let Them Fail?

I can't believe summer is quickly coming to an end!  To be honest, this summer has been hard. Between a baby waking up super early and keeping me on my toes all day, to raising a football player, and last but not least, making sure that middle child isn't lost in all of the mix! I don't think a day goes by when I am not completely exhausted. Physically, mentally, and a times, even emotionally. I ask God frequently why I have such an active baby!!?? I cry at times not knowing if I can juggle all 3 kids. This is the real stuff. Having 3 kids in 3 different stages of life is exhausting!! This is what I have been given though. God sees me. He knows me. He hears me!!! Thank goodness!:)  I know God's plans are bigger and I know His strength is made perfect in my weakness. In my daily mess, literally and figuratively, I have to find Jesus! I can't do it by myself. When I seek him, I find him. That is how I get through each day! He is teaching me through it all. I just have to pause and listen and be willing to let him work through me and change me. A whole lot of changing going on! Having a supportive husband is huge in all of this and I am so glad we are in this thing together.

It's amazing how God can use my little 7 month old to teach me lessons about my 16 year old and my 12 year old. You see, baby is completely and totally out of the mold!! So much, that it gets frustrating at times! He is completely different than big brother and big sister. The methods I used when they were babies don't work at all with him, which leaves me lost and puzzled. I'm forced to completely trust God's hand in his little life. Knowing God made him like this for a reason.  Perfection is far from expected from this little guy, which causes me to look at my heart and see how I still struggle in this area with my older kids. I've admitted it before, but starting with the oldest, I have held my kids to the standard of perfection. Not intentionally, but through my reactions, attitudes, and micro managing all these years. Thinking if I can just control it all and follow step ABC, then my kids will turn out great! I remember the first time one of my kids didn't make honor roll. I was devastated!! I didn't let them know, but just that attitude of my heart was so wrong!!! My perspective was totally off. Honestly, I think I was more embarrassed of what other moms thought of me, and how I was reflected, but that's a topic for another day. Anyways, Thank God my eyes have been opened. Don't get me wrong, good grades are always the goal, but falling short is not detrimental .

I read this the other day. "Children can't grow without taking risks. Toddlers can't walk completely without falling down. Students can't learn without facing hardships. And ultimately, an adolescent can't enter young adulthood until we release them from our protective custody"( Dr. James Dobson). I feel like I can relate to all three of these scenarios with each of the kids. Guess what baby is teaching me lately?  I can't control it all. There is No Perfect Plan!!! As much as I'd like to believe steps ABC will lead to success, that is so far from the truth. That is depending on my own abilities. Truth is, all of our kids will fall or fail. We need to "let them fail" as one of my good friends says. As much as I'd like to believe differently, it is the truth. It may be minor or it may be major. It may be frequent or just once. I may witness it, or I may be completely unaware. The more important thing is what kind of mom am I when my child falls? What kind of parents are we when we see our kids fail? Are we still loving them unconditionally? Are we focusing on the heart of our child? Are we helping them to grow and learn from their actions? Are we giving God's grace? Believe me, I am speaking loudly to myself! I need this! I'm learning more and more that sometimes the actions of our children have absolutely nothing to do with what we do or don't do as parents. Sometimes it's just life hitting them. Does this mean we stop being supportive, having high expectations, and training them up as God commands? Of course not! By no means do I want to convey that. It's just reality, because our kids are human just like you and me.  Having this awareness while raising these precious gifts makes life a little less complicated.

I remember in Jr. High I struggled with an eating disorder. Was it because my parents told me I needed to lose weight? Was it because they didn't love me? Actually quite the opposite! They loved me unconditionally and they always spoke more than highly about me. My eating disorder had nothing to do with them. It was just the pressures of being in Jr. High. Knowing I wasn't one of the popular attractive girls and desperately wanting to fit in at age 13.  My parents were clueless until one of my friends shared my hardship with them. Do you think at that time they were trying to figure out what they'd done wrong? Maybe even a bit embarrassed? I can't remember details, but I do remember that they intervened immediately and sought wisdom, understanding and help. They loved me through it and praise God I was able to overcome. That's just one of many examples, but it proves what I'm trying to say. More so to myself than anybody!!!

With school starting in less than a week, I find it hard to believe that I have a junior in high school and a seventh grader in Jr. high. Do I have expectations for them? Oh yes! Do I worry about how they will handle their own hardships? Definitely! Do I want to walk the halls with them and save them from falling? Yes! Yes! Yes! The good news is someone far greater than me can do just that. Jesus is before them, beside them, and behind them. He is with them every step of the way! The one thing I CAN do for my kids as they roam those halls is pray for them! Prayer does change things and prayers on behalf of our children can make a huge difference on what happens in their day! Knowing Jesus is right there to carry them, no matter what happens, good or bad, is just what this momma needs. While I stay home and nurture their baby brother, I can have peace in my heart and focus on teaching him all I know of God's glory and faithfulness.  At the same time,  The Lord will continue to use him to teach me.  So, Expectations, yes. Perfection, no. To God Be the Glory!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. (Psalm 139:1-5 NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)