Life is But a Dream - Emma Gauer

Meltdowns and Motherhood

A little honesty about motherhood right now. Today my three year old had a major meltdown in Target and left me challenged in this motherhood thing once again! Isn't it wonderful that our children give us opportunity to grow!?? I did my best and didn't want to give him an "empty threat", and I followed through with consequences because he didn't listen. There were lots and lots of tears involved though. I'm hoping he learned. It drained me. Parenting is hard stuff. Honestly it's easier to give in, but I'm praying he will learn from days like today when we had to leave the store and sit in the car instead of watching "choo choo tracks". I'm at a point in my life now that I could care less about what people were thinking. I thank God for that. They aren't raising my boy, they are just distractions to make me feel embarrassed , ashamed, and less than. Normally I would be in tears. Thank you Lord for your strength. I've been learning so much in my Bloom class about motherhood and I have the tendency to want to apply everything at once, expecting a perfect child in return! My baby is human though and so am I. He gets tired. So do I. He isn't always obedient. I am not always obedient to God's ways. God gives me overwhelming grace though and I am trying to give him that same grace with firm discipline. It struck me today that instead of trying to apply everything at once, it's ok to focus on one thing. If it's just one area of growth, it's better than no growth! Right!!?? Thank you Lord for your mercies! Motherhood is a constant ride of growing and learning, messing up and starting over! To God Be The Glory!


Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭9‬ NIV)

P.S. I was supposed to write about Bloom Week 3, but God had other plans. Week 3 and 4 were life changing for me! In weeks ahead I will be writing about boundaries and how "getting in the well" instead if shouting from that "top of the well" was transforming. God worked miraculously in those moments.

Bloom Week Two

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I Press On toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  Philippians‬ ‭3‬:‭12-14

Happy New Year! I am running into 2017 with a grateful heart and I am ready for The Lord to use me anyway and anywhere HE wants! In the chaos,  carpooling, at the market....or even through these authentic heart words. I AM HIS.  Let's jump into BLOOM week two. Perfect subject for the new year! We discussed setting a mission statement for our family. What is it that will get us through the tough times? What will carry us when life is falling apart? It all started with a video from Joanna Gaines from "The Fixer Upper" on HGTV. First off, I was probably the only one in the room who hadn't heard of the show. It didn't take me long to relate to Joanna's story, definitely one of beauty out of ashes. What an incredible testimony of God's faithfulness. One of the seasoned "bloom moms" spoke too. Below is a combination of notes I took that day.

  1. Keep my eyes on the promises of God. 2. God has a purpose for everything. 3. The enemy likes to hit below the belt.  4. Don't believe the lies. 5. Our kids are on lend to us. Mold and shape them in the way God has laid out for them, not in the way I think they should go.
6. Focus on what God wants me to do, not on what I want.
7. Think long term as it relates to my children. The fruit I sow today may not show up now, but down the road, sometimes WAY down the road......It Will Show Up!!!
8. Be a purposeful mom.
9. What kind of an atmosphere am I cultivating in my home?
10. Live a life that causes others to pursue Jesus.

Next, our speaker discussed the importance of having a mission statement.
It will help us focus our priorities. It will help us keep going when we want to give up. We can use it to map out our daily schedule. Most importantly, it is a visual way to cling on tightly to Christ, despite any circumstance that may come our way. I encourage you to do this. One of our homework assignments the week before was to log our days, hour by hour. Not to feel guilty, but to see where we are spending our time. This was a great tool for me. Convicting, yes, but it provoked me to make some changes. This also helped when I formed my mission statement.

With God, there are never coincidences. All in one week, I heard Philippians 3:12-14 in this Bloom class, in my morning devotions, and a message from my pastor on a Sunday. Talk about God speaking to me!!!! What great timing to create my mission statement! Life changing for me! Here it is.

                                           PRESS ON

Pursuing Christ Always
Relentless Devotion To My Husband
Eagerly Serve My Family
Standing Firm In My Calling
Sharing God's Unconditional Love
By
Offering Myself
Never Giving Up
I broke it down into specifics, but honestly these are the words I remember when life gets tough.

                                         PRESS ON

Whatever season you are in, I encourage you to write a mission statement. It has kept me accountable. It has convicted me when laziness sneaks in. It has also spurred me on to keep running. To God Be The Glory!!

An Early CHRISTmas

My heart is bursting today with unspeakable joy!  Lately I have received one gift after another and they have all led me to say humbly, "I see God". I see his goodness in so many ways. I see His Greatness! It has brought me those joyous grateful tears that seem to be endless. To say I see God may sound weird but that's really the only way for me to describe it.

 I see God in my youngest boy, in the way he gives me unexpected affection, in his prayers that are muffled, in his purity, so much purity! I see God in my daughter ,in the way she has stepped up to challenges and miraculously succeeded! I see God in the strength and determination my son carries when the doctor's report isn't very encouraging. I see God in my husband's eyes, in his genuine love for me, and his ability to overcome diversions and lead others to do the same. I see God in my convictions. I see God in specific scriptures posted for me on the freeway! I see God in His provision. I see God in the long life of my grandma. I see God in my parent's heart for hospitality and giving. I see God in the trees, the sky, in divine appointments with strangers and friends. This, BABY JESUS, in a manger has given me everything I need. More than enough.

Is my life perfect? No. Do I struggle a lot to fight guilt, fear, and comparison? Yes! Do I get disappointed sometimes? Yes! But God is bigger than all of it! God is bigger than my worst mistake. Even though the struggles are there, through God's eyes, I can focus on all the gifts HE gives me! I asked Him today what He wanted me to do with all of this that I've been given. I am so in awe of His goodness. It's overwhelming. In my heart I hear....."Just keep going Jeanette, keep looking for me in all of your circumstances. Keep going. Keep praying, keep persevering, keep giving. Keep going. Press On. Reach out. You are Enough." Merry Christmas!!
To God Be the Glory!!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah‬ ‭9‬:‭6‬

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭20-21‬

Bloom Week One

Before I attended Bloom, I honestly had no idea what to expect. I went in willing, but with a little hesitation. I knew I needed the body of Christ and I couldn't continue this journey on my own. Moments after the class started I knew I was at the right place at the right time. God knew exactly what I needed.

The first topic that was discussed was the importance of sitting at the feet of Jesus. Our foundation must be in Christ. Everything we do and say is a direct reflection of our time spent with The Lord. They had a panel of seasoned mothers and grandmothers giving different examples of how they set their time aside with The Lord, in their younger years and in the present. Some in the morning, some at night, some during their children's nap time. Everyone is different. The point was to be intentional about setting the time aside. They stressed the importance of giving ourselves grace, lots and lots of grace. Also, our time with The Lord will vary upon the different seasons in our life.

Some nuggets I wrote down:
We must declutter our thoughts and mind by washing of the word. Meditating on it, memorizing it, reminding ourselves of Who God Is, turning off all the noise and bringing in the quiet. As we do this, our vision is cleared and our joy is renewed.

But whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. (‭Psalm‬ ‭1‬:‭2-3‬ NIV)

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (‭Joshua‬ ‭1‬:‭8-9‬ NIV)

We must be willing to die to self. We must be willing to lose ourselves. When I let go of my own earthly desires, comforts, and conveniences and totally surrender to the work at hand, then and only then can the power of Christ be fully at work in me. Elizabeth Elliott said it perfectly "the secret is Christ in me , not me in a different set of circumstances". We will face all sorts of mountains in our life, and we will even be challenged beyond what we think we can handle, and at times, we may want to run away from it all , but with Christ as our foundation, we are given the power to stand no matter how difficult the storm . In Christ we are unshakable, immovable, steady and firm!
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you,
Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭1-2‬ NIV)
To God Be The Glory!

Blooming Again

It feels like forever since I have blogged. A little update on my family. My oldest son graduated from high school in June. He is currently attending junior college in hopes of being recruited for football by a D1or D2 school. I admire his patience and determination and I am supporting him every step of the way. My daughter also promoted in June and she is currently a freshman in high school. It's been quite the roller coaster ride so far, honestly, a lot harder than I expected, but God has been good through every single dip and turn! His faithfulness is unending and my hands are up and surrendered! My youngest will be 3 at the end of the year and he is full of energy, joy, and laughter! He is also very determined and my hardest of the three at this age. I am beyond thankful for him though! He brings all the "tough times" into perspective .

     Last month I decided to join a class at my church called "BLOOM"... Building a Legacy Out of Motherhood.  One may think that my kids are a little old for this? Isn't it a little too late to build a legacy??  Well, the great news is that God's mercies are new every morning and everyday we are all given a second, third, and fourth chance to build a new legacy! It is never too late to build or re-build a legacy.  I've had moments that I will remember fondly with my older two, moments I wish I could repeat over and over again because they bring so much joy to my heart. I also have moments I wish I could take back in a heart beat. They are both a part of who I am though, the good and not so good.  They are a part of the legacy that began 18years ago. Thank God my legacy is not over! Thank God I am not the same person I was when this all started. Thank God my legacy is ongoing, transforming, and renewing day by day. Because of Christ, that is, only because of Christ! So, this new class I decided to take could not have come at a better time in my life! I'm glad I didn't let pride come in between the need for growth and re-building!   I have learned so much already, and I have been reminded of simple small acts that can make such a huge impact on my family. This stuff is all so good and beneficial and it has brought me back to this blog for two reasons.

1. I want to document all that I am learning so I can actually use these tools I have been given.  I don't want to forget anything!
2. I want to pass on all of the valuable info. I am receiving with any other mom wanting to do some re-building too!

I look forward to sharing with you! To God be the Glory!

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (‭Titus‬ ‭2‬:‭3-5‬ NIV)

Making Room For God's Hand

My family had the opportunity to go to Disneyland last week. It was my youngest son's very first time. Of course he loved it! Enjoy the pictures while I share the latest on my heart. Sometimes God has to show me things again and again. He is so good to me. Even when I forget the simple things. His love remains.

I heard this last weekend from one of the speakers at #ifgathering (I can't remember who) "Make room for God to move". I can't stop thinking about it, specifically in the life of my children. Make room for God to move on behalf of my children.




It's my tendency to take over and micro-manage every single thing so they will succeed. I know I've talked about this many times, but it is a HUGE struggle. But God. But God. He is showing me to sit. To be still. To pray hard. Let His Grace Cover the Inadequacies. Let His Sovereign Power do the fighting and the intervening. Then God will be glorified through any and all victories in their life. When we try to do it all, we are taking away the chance of our children seeing the hand of God in their own lives. There is no better way for our children to grow in the Lord than experiencing first hand how much God sees and knows them. Won't it be such a wonderful moment when they can know in their own heart that the situation just had to be God's hand working on their behalf!!!!?  Pure joy! I just experienced one of these moments yesterday with one of my children. I look forward to many more as the two older ones grow into adulthood.  I'm learning. I think motherhood is a lifetime of learning. Today I am reminding myself: Be still. Trust God. Pray hard. Breath.

To God Be The Glory!

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Armed With Strength

Happy February! I missed new years, so considering this is my first blog of 2016, I felt like I had to celebrate!  So, happy day! Happy thursday! We are already in the second month of this new year and I still have lots on my heart from the last few months.  Time to just write it all down.  The sun has been shining outside the last couple of days and I'd say it reflects whats going on inside of me also. God is great!

At the beginning of this year I felt God showing me that I was going to walk in strength this year. I was going to be strong.  If there was a word for 2016, it was  "STRENGTH" .  There was a road ahead that required this of me. I needed to prepare and rise to the call. At first I raised my hand and said Yes!!!  Then reality hit. At that time I was thinking, I am literally at one of the weakest times in my life. I am not strong at all. I am weak physically because of eating too much and not exercising. I am weak emotionally because I experienced different types of hurt, put calluses on my heart, and opened the door to discontentment and comparison. I am weak mentally because I started relying on myself and not God. Then comes my weakness spiritually because I felt like all I did was cry to God and I couldn't give any of His goodness to anyone. My well was dry. Totally not qualified to be a Woman of Strength!!!! This is the great part though.  With God, we don't have to qualify to be worthy! We are! Right!!?  God's grace, Jesus's blood makes us worthy and strong. So at that point I knew that if I had any strength in my being..... It Was and Is ALL God!

I started fighting back. I think my first step was acknowledging what was going on inside of my heart. I read a lot.  Even in the midst of all this weakness, I still pressed on. I am still pressing on. One article I read was about allowing God to heal my heart rather than build calluses around it. That hit me right where it needed to. Being a mom, if your child gets hurt, you hurt a thousand times more. Most of the time I get over it, but this time I had hardened my heart. It wasn't good. I didn't "guard my heart," as the scriptures say to do. Then from there, I experienced some disappointments, received news about my health that I didn't want to hear, and went through some more growing pains of motherhood. My heart wasn't guarded.  Looking at social media was the worst thing I could do for myself. But there I was, seeing all of the perfection blasted through the holidays and I fell into the lies of discontentment and comparison.  I just wanted to be alone.  I wanted to experience this pain alone. At that time I also condemned myself for wanting to go through it alone. Now looking back, I realize that some people like to go through their pain alone while others like people to ride along with them. Neither one is wrong. Condemnation is a heavy thing. Don't fall victim to it. God wants us to be free. Just another subject I can go on about.

Thank you Jesus,  that all ended. I started praying and asking God to heal my heart. To soften it. To guard it. It is still tender, but the healing is very much at work. This is the absolute best part! I started looking up scriptures of strength. In the past I have always remembered scriptures of God telling us to Be Strong, but for some reason the scriptures that kept jumping out at me all had to do with God being my strength!!! I don't have to be because He IS!!!  Best news ever to this weary momma! God is Great!

Before I wrap this up, I don't share all of this to have a pity party. Whenever I share my heart, it is always because I know if I am going through these things that I am not the only one. If I could somehow encourage one person by putting out my authentic heart for all the world to read about, then it is worth it. Pray for me, yes. Pray for all of your sisters in Christ who may be having tough seasons as well.  We all need each other. Thank you for reading those of you in Russia, China, Germany and good ole' U.S.A.  God is Great! To God Be The Glory!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am STRONG. (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9-10‬ NIV)

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the STRENGTH of my heart and my portion forever. (‭Psalm‬ ‭73‬:‭26‬ NIV)

But I will sing of your STRENGTH in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. (‭Psalm‬ ‭59‬:‭16‬ NIV)

You are my STRENGTH I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. (‭Psalm‬ ‭59‬:‭17‬ NIV)

The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the STRENGTH of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (‭Psalms‬ ‭27‬:‭1‬ NKJV)

Finally, be STRONG in the Lord and in his mighty power. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭6‬:‭10‬ NIV)

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives STRENGTH to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their STRENGTH. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭28-31‬ NIV)

“Be STRONG and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be STRONG and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (‭Joshua‬ ‭1‬:‭7-9‬ NIV)“

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with STRENGTH and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. (‭2 Samuel‬ ‭22‬:‭31-34‬ NIV)

Who Am I When Life Is Good?

I can't believe we are in November! My favorite month out of the year. I talked about this a little on Instagram already. I love the season of thankfulness and hope that everyone can learn how life changing being thankful can be. Not just on Thanksgiving, but ever single day of the year. Being thankful for the little things can really change your perspective on all of the challenges that life can bring. With my party of five it seems like something is always going on with one of us. School issues, health issues, control issues, unmet expectations, stress and on and on the list can go. So I believe strongly in focusing and finding the good in the midst of it all.


I want to talk about something totally off the wall though. Yesterday I was having a good day. No major challenges. I even cooked! Then the Lord spoke to my heart. How am I responding to God and those around me when life is good?? When all is well?? It's been a tough year in our house, but it's getting better. One day at a time. I've always heard that a person's true character is revealed in tough times, so I don't want to take away from that. Yes, those tough times bring us to our knees, and we have a choice to fight, grow and learn from the difficulties. For me, I held onto scriptures and prayed like never before! I am asking myself today. What am I doing with the good? Am I keeping it all to myself and my own party of five or am I sharing it with others? Am I reverent to the hand of God in my life? Am I sharing my gratitude with Christ? Am I talking to Him? Or am I getting relaxed and going through the motions? I strongly believe that I can't just sit here blessed as can be and think it's ok.  There is a reason God rescues us and saves us and it's not so we can be selfish with all He gives us. The story of the Good Samaritan comes to mind and I don't ever want to be so caught up in my blessed life that I just keep on walking by.


I wrote a little list to remind myself of what I should be during the good times.

1. Humbly thank God for everything! For never leaving me! For His love that pursues me ! For His Faithfulness! For provision!

2. Share my joy with Christ with praise and adoration!

3. Reach out to those who are hurting. Offer compassion.

4. Be sensitive to those around me undergoing trials.

5. Never stop reading God's word and praying it and meditating on it because that's exactly what helps me in the difficult times that arise.

To God Be The Glory!

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” (‭Luke‬ ‭10‬:‭30-37‬ NIV)

A Football Night To Remember....Moments of My Son's Senior Year

Last Friday night was Senior Night for my son's football team. First of all, how did my son become a senior? He was just a freshman!! These years have seriously flown! Don't blink people! We are here though and I am trying hard just to enjoy the present and treasure every moment with him. My daughter was unable to make it to senior night due to a commitment at her school and my youngest son fell asleep for the very first time this football season. At first I was disappointed because I had envisioned a beautiful family picture celebrating our first born, but soon it dawned on me that this was the perfect way to celebrate our son. We were able to completely focus on him and take in all the joy and happiness that the night brought.

I wanted to share more than pictures of a very special night because this football season has been one that we will always look back on and I don't want to forget about everything that has taken place.  People see the victory, but they don't know the pain, disappointment, and uncertainty that we have all had to go through this year.  Many people have asked me what is next in my son's football journey.  The honest answer is I don't know and I am actually ok with that.  My son is so much more than a football player. He is an excellent football player, but there is so much more to him than just football.  God has a plan for my son's life and I am trusting in that. I pray daily over him and saying out loud "he is yours Lord" gives this momma that peace that passes all understanding. Its not up to me, its not up to my husband, its not up to my son's coaches. It is all in God's hands.  

The very first game of this football season I was both excited and nervous for my son. I knew it was time for all of the hundreds of hours of hard work, sacrifice, and dedication to the sport he loved to pay off.  I knew many eyes were watching him and I also knew these football parents were never shy in giving their opinions out loud. He had a great game, but unfortunately the receivers couldn't hold onto multiple balls. Thankfully, his skills were far from criticized. He received a lot of recognition that game. One parent even referred to him as "the unsung hero" of the game. He was also the "offensive player" that night.  My son and his team had some tough opponents ahead of them and they won some games and they lost some. He would come home like he was in a battle sometimes. Extremely sore. Never quitting, always giving his very best.  Two weeks before league play my son sustained an injury. Did he blame anyone for it? No. He blamed himself. He said he held onto the ball too long. That is the type of guy he is. I can't go into detail, but news of his injury broke all of our hearts. We thought he was done. He is a fighter though. He didn't just quit when he could have easily been done. To everyone's surprise my son only missed 1 game and by the grace of God, he has been playing since. His coaches have nothing but good things to say about his character and determination. The season isn't over. I don't know what tomorrow holds. I do know this. God has always upheld my son and He always will. This next picture, blurry, but the emotions I felt walking alongside my son and my husband proudly holding high the #3 jersey is something I will never forget. I am beyond proud of who my son is on and off of the field. His example of humility and grace towards others deserves a standing ovation. You may not see me, but I am there standing tall and very very proud of my first born! 

"So do not fear, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will UPHOLD you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

My son has been so blessed to receive the best support and prayers from all of our extended family and friends. I am so very thankful for everyone! These are a few of his biggest fans! There are many more who love him and pray for his protection and I appreciate those heartfelt prayers more than anything! 

Papa and Grandma

Nana and Tata

Uncle G and Auntie Yvette

Cousins

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20,21

To God Be The Glory!

Cheering Them On Through It All

I've been hearing the song lately "Cheerleader". The lyrics say something like "I think I found myself a cheerleader".   I don't know who sings the song, if it's old or new because I'm not hip like that. The important thing is it got my attention!  Every time I hear it I think back at my early years of marriage. That was some of the best advice I ever received! To be my husband's Biggest Cheerleader!  Over the course of almost 21 years there have been times that I was very intentional about it and worked hard at praising my man. Then, being very human and selfish, there were also plenty of times that I failed miserably in this area. I say miserably because if you are feeling miserable, then most likely you are not able to give out praise and affirmation to others. I think everyone goes through that. Well, all of us who are human anyways.


So I'm giving myself a little reminder, because marriage takes work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It's an ongoing effort to love selflessly and run the race with your soulmate no matter what lies in front of you! So how exactly can I be my husband's biggest cheerleader?? How can you be your husband's biggest cheerleader? There are many ways to cheer them on effectively!  Affirmation affirmation affirmation! Find out their love language and love them in the way they need to be loved!  Not in the way you need to be loved. Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service are suggested in the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  Remind them of how important they are to your family! Their role as husband and father is irreplacable! They have an enormous amount of influence in your children's life that is needed in such a way that a mom cannot provide. Thank them for working hard to provide for your family. Remind them that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. Remind them of how strong God made them.  Remind them of who they are in Christ! Remind them that you would choose them again and again.  Remind them that they are enough. Remind them of all the things you love about them. Take note of those physical attributes that you first fell in love with. If you like their eyes, tell them!!!  If you love their strong smooth arms, hold onto them! Hee hee!  "Do not withhold good from those whom it is due, when it is in your power to act" Proverbs 3:27.  Thank them for coming to your rescue time and time again!  Tell them you are praying for them and actually pray for them! God can move in more ways on your behalf then you could ever imagine.   I'm sure there are a lot more ways to cheer, this is just from my heart.  If anything, pick one thing you love about your husband and run with it!  Overwhelm him with your love! Look for the good and you will find it!


So if you have ever been to a football game, you will notice that the cheerleaders are cheering throughout the whole game!! Not just when the team is winning or a touchdown has been scored.  They cheer when the team has no points on the board.  They cheer when the game is tied and players are getting more intense. They cheer if their team is losing by twenty! They are in it no matter what. Ball fumbles, or an interception occurs, they are still cheering for the next play to defend well or sack a player! Sounds a lot like "in sickness and in health" "in good times and challenging times".  From experience, it's easy to cheer when everything is going well.  Let's not stop there.  Let's continue to cheer our men on when a tackle in life has happened. When their ball gets intercepted.  When life hits hard in ways you can't even fathom.  Be their biggest cheerleader and help them back up! Let them know you are their to support them no matter what!  After all, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9-12‬ NIV)
To God Be The Glory!

Love Them, Don't Control Them

I can't believe that we are almost in May of 2015.  With May comes Mother's Day, Memorial Weekend, end of another school year, and hints of summer coming very soon.  How did this happen? All of a sudden my girl will officially become a "teenager" in two months (she reminded me yesterday that it was two months exactly) and my oldest son is putting his schedule together for his senior year in high school.  Meanwhile, our baby is growing and changing daily. Discovering so many different things.  Seeing the world through his eyes is just Pure Joy!

I've had my ups and downs this year as a mother of three in three different seasons of life. I am thankful for time with each of my children.  I treasure heart to heart conversations and when our party of five is all together, my heart is very full!!  With that being said, there have also been lots of tears this year, because the love I have for them just weighs so heavy on my heart at times and tears seem to be my form of therapy. They release what I want to hold onto.  What I want to control.  They usually accompany my hands being thrown up in the air and confessing my inadequacy in this role of....Motherhood.  If only I could control their every action, thoughts, and choices.  Then they would turn out the way I had imagined them to, or expected them to, not at all taking into consideration God's Plan for their life. Here's the thing that God has been showing me.  That little thing called "control", its NOT what God has called me to do.  My children are human, just like you and me and guess what?? They aren't going to live a perfect life.  They will make mistakes and learn from them.  They will learn though.  They will grow and flourish into what God wants them to be! Not what I want them to be!  This is what God has been pressing on this momma's heart.........LOVE.......just LOVE them!!! Give them to the ONE who IS in control and stop expecting perfectionism and LOVE!! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

You may be thinking that this is a no brainer. Of course we love our children!  In fact I've heard it said that nothing compares to the love a mother has for her child.  Why am I even bringing this up? For me! I need this reminder of what love is, what love looks like, and honestly what love isn't. 

1 Corinthians 13:4,5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

I just want to focus on these two verses.  I think there is enough here to convict me of not always loving.  Where is my patience when they forget things? Where is my kindness when they are just being themselves? Maybe envy and boasting isn't a big problem, but PROUD or PRIDE. Having to be right? My way is the only way? One of many things I've learned from my mom is humility. She would admit it if she was wrong and apologize.  Saying sorry to our children is not a sign of weakness. It's showing them that we are human and we need God in the same way they do.  Ok, next one. Dishonor others. I looked this one up. Dishonor also means to discredit, shame, or humiliate. Hmmm, I think its safe to say that our pride can cause us to dishonor. Make ourselves look good.  I don't want to humiliate my children. Unfortunately sometimes my words have done that. Next, self-seeking. My will instead of God's will.  Easily angered?? Not me!!! Lord help us! Last but not least, who keeps record of wrongs?? I think that is enough to chew on for now. This is why I need to write these things down. I need the reminder! 

I read this quote from Ann Voskamp and it really reasonated with me:

"YOU LOVE AS WELL AS YOU ARE WILLING TO BE INCONVENIENCED. It's never too late to live a remarkable life.  Just start leaving marks of love now--right when its inconvenient. And then tomorrow.  Not twenty years from now.  Not two weeks from now. Now. Right now. Always in the inconvenient. Right now. " 

Inconvenient Love.  I want to love like that. With three children, its a juggling act. I help one and think I am done, then another one has a need, and so on and so on.  There are times  that I am just tired and it does seem like one child misses out on that inconvenient love. I try to validate my laziness by convincing myself that they will be fine, but the truth is, they need my inconvenient love more than anything! Time is crucial!  Loving in our children's love language is another example of inconvenient love.  Actually I should say child, because each child has a different love language(s).  Maybe its Physical Affection, going out of my way to let them snuggle with me considering I'm one of those who like her space.  One of my daughter's love languages is Acts of Service. She has always been my independent one, but every once in awhile she will ask me to help her out with ironing, getting her breakfast, etc. and its usually last minute and very inconvenient for me, but that's where it is....inconvenient love.

With a teen, tween, and toddler every day is an adventure.  Every night is an adventure!!  I never know what each day will bring. I do know this.  I want my children to know that I LOVED them.  Not because of what they did, or how they performed in life.  Simply because of who they are.  They are enough.  What it all comes down to is leaving all my cares, worries, and concerns at the feet of Jesus and just LOVING! To God Be The Glory!

 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on LOVE which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭12-14‬

Looking Back on Valentines With A Grateful Heart

While I was visiting my son's school today it brought back memories of Valentines Day during my high school years. I went to an all girls catholic school and in those days deliveries were allowed. It seemed to me like every girl got called to the office for a delivery except me! I dreaded Valentines. Seeing all those girls with balloons, flowers, teddy bears and their big smiles was annoying. In the meantime, I was a very shy teenage girl who didn't really have a chance of a relationship because I couldn't even talk to a guy! lol Thank God those days are over!


In my early years of marriage I felt entitled on Valentines Day. My husband needs to buy me this and that and take me out and make me feel loved. It's my turn to feel spoiled and like a queen! Gee, someone needed to get her "self" out of the way! Ha! Thank God those days didn't last long either!


Then the kids came along. I must admit, one of my favorite times of the year with the little ones. Decorating the house, baking together, making valentines for their classmates, making a special breakfast, heart shaped everything in their lunches, and eventually nice family dinners, including chocolate covered strawberries that have been a favorite valentine tradition. My way of loving on my family and making sure everyone feels loved on this special day. No longer about me, it's all about them.  Don't get me wrong, I love a handwritten note every now and then.  It could be any day of the year though! Add some quality time to that and I'm more than happy!


Looking back at who I was is kind of embarrassing, but it is also encouraging. I believe God was setting me a part during those difficult high school years. See, most of those young loves were most likely very temporary, but I waited and God had something so much greater for me. He had someone set aside who would be so much more than chocolate candy and stuffed teddy bears. He had someone who would be my very best friend, who would lay down his life for me and my family daily, who would love me even at my lowest when I couldn't give anything back, who would care so much that it hurts, who would love me unconditionally and so on. Now that is the kind of love I needed. More importantly, that is the kind of love I need to give. Selfless love. Love that doesn't need anything in return. Love that just keeps on loving no matter what waves come crashing or how high the mountain is to climb. Love that two best friends can give to each other every single day of their life! Deep deep love. Love that is a direct result of knowing Christ, the best example of love. I am forever grateful to have this. Thank you God for giving me my incredible husband!  To God Be The Glory!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-8‬ NIV)

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

A New Day Is More Like It

So it's a new year. Starting over. A new beginning. A time when I can envision the best version of who I want to be! The mom who works out everyday, cooks for her family, keeps a clean house, keeps prayer journals, says the right things to her kids, plans ways to be a better wife and the list goes on and on and on. Then reality hits. My unrealistic expectations end up leading to an overwhelmed anxious heart . Then I stand numb and useless because the mountain I have created in my head is just too huge to even attempt. Then failure wants to creep in. I'm sure this is a common cycle for others too. Maybe not. Maybe I'm the only one.

 This year I have sort of been avoiding my New Years "reflection time". I haven't wanted to put expectations on myself. Knowing where that all leads. Knowing my circumstances. Goals for a whole year? Really? I can't even see what tomorrow will bring. Last year I worked a lot on "letting go". I really had no choice. When a baby enters your life and you are used to everything being a certain way, you can either get really frustrated or Let.It.Go.. I found peace in letting go of what I couldn't control and trusting God to carry my family and myself through it all. Looking back, it kind of all seems like a big blur. There were waves of darkness and hopelessness, and then there were waves of pure joy and celebration. I've told people that this past year was the hardest year of my life. They usually look at me strange. Juggling my new party of five was like nothing I've ever experienced. My need for Christ was greater than ever. The beautiful thing is that God took me just as I was and stretched me and carried me and sustained me. I made it! Not on my own. Not by myself. Not because of me. In Christ alone. I let go of me and held onto HIM. I am excited about what is to come! I actually didn't plan on writing this, but maybe someone out there needs HOPE.

 Now how am I going to start this new year? I don't want to dwell on how hard last year was, but I do want to learn from it! I want to move. I want to move forward with purpose and hope. No unrealistic expectations, but small daily goals. I like to think of it more as my "new day" goals and prayers. Because of God's grace we do have "new days" every single time the sun rises. It's a new day. A new opportunity to change, try harder, and do a little bit better. A lot of people have their "word " for the new year. I just can't seem to think of one word though. These are words that have already been at work in my heart and I need their reminder daily. One day at a time, staying close to my Savior, I am looking forward to what 2015 will bring!

 FREE: I want to live in freedom. Free from people pleasing, comparison, criticism, a hardened heart, my fears, and perfectionism. I want to be free to love and give and receive all that God has for me. TIME: I want to give more of my time. To God, my family, and to people I don't even know. Looking up and around me for ways that I can be the hands and feet of Jesus. My grandma recently told my daughter that more than anything she appreciates the time that she spends with her. DREAM: I want to dream again! I get so caught up in the day to day routine that I forget what it's like to dream! Being content with where God has me, yet kindling the desires in my heart that I forgot I had! If I'm telling my daughter to dream big, then I need to do the same! I still have a lot of living to do! PURPOSE: I need this reminder more than anything! There is a purpose in all that do! God has a purpose and a plan. Even in the stuff that seems meaningless and unimportant. When I go about my day knowing I have purpose, there is hope and joy and strength!

  Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭46‬:‭4‬ NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬ NIV) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ NIV) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭37‬ NIV) If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (‭Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭9-12‬ NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11-13‬ NIV)

Happy New Year! To God Be The Glory! 

I Am a Football Mom

Friday Night Lights has been under way for a couple months now.  Years in the waiting! What an exciting night to look forward to when your son plays quarterback!  This year has been a little different though.  Instead of seeing my son start the game, I've seen him on the sidelines.  Some games he plays 5 minutes, others games maybe part of the last quarter, and then there has been a couple that he didn't play at all. Although this has been hard for all of us, I want to share why I stand in great admiration of my son! I am choosing to focus my attention on who he is during this long wait. He is one I am extremely proud of!

 To understand where I am coming from, it would help a little to learn about my son's background . He has been playing football since he was 7 or 8. He loves it! He has played quarterback and knows his position very well!  What started off as a fun game of flag football, turned into a passion for the game! From flag football he played tackle for a few years and then it was onto High school ! He was playing basketball too, but now it was time to get serious and really start pursuing his dream!  He has gone to quarterback training camps, received private lessons, and trained trained trained!  In the weight room and any other facility that would help him to get better!  This has pretty much been a year round endeavor.  Training is a part of him! His heart has always been completely committed to the game.  I don't think I've ever heard him complain?   He has never been "given" his quarterback position.  He has battled and persevered his way into being the "starter".   Both freshman year and sophomore year he was awarded Offensive MVP and he was very successful. Never proud or arrogant, just loving the game! 

Here we are in his Junior year.  Knowing he has worked exceptionally hard since last years season ended, we all had high hopes for his first varsity season!  When I say work hard, I mean he took maybe a week or two off last December and one week off in July. That's it. He hasn't missed one practice! He has been sick, fever and all and still fulfilled his commitment.  His choice.  With all that he has invested, how can he not be discouraged? How can his dad and I not be disappointed?  When I say disappointed, I am not referring to my son.  I'm referring to the game.  The outcome thus far.  I've sat in the bleachers with such a heavy heart for my quarterback.

So how is it that I stand with admiration of my boy even when he is on the sidelines? Almost every week tears run down my cheek when I see what a strong team player he is. Whether it's on the field or sidelines. He ALWAYS is the first to high five or congratulate players on a good catch, hit, or touchdown! He paces that field and keeps his head high with enthusiasm while he waits and hopes to be put in. His attitude is a perfect reflection of who he has become. The year is not over yet, and we are still hoping and trusting in God's perfect plan for our son' s life. We know playing or not playing doesn't define his value or worth. We support him no matter what!

Do you know what God has been teaching me through this? All these character traits my son is learning and developing in his life will never go to waste! Perseverance, determination, commitment, focus, hard work, humility, and heart are all a part of my son! These qualities are going to make him a great husband, father, and employee or entrepreneur one day. See, he's learning that sometimes when things get a little difficult or uncomfortable that you just don't quit! You stay focused and determined! You never give up! He's learning that there is always competition, but hard work will pay off! He's learning that sometimes circumstances around his life, have nothing to do with his lack of ability. He's learning that God has a perfect plan for him. These days are long. School, practice, homework, and sleep. Day in and day out. For a lot of teens, this can get old. For a few though, the reward will be great!

I am trusting God, praying daily for my son, and I will be in those bleachers with my heart beating with pride for #3. I will give him all the support he needs! To God Be The Glory! Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5, 6 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9